We were swinging freely almost twenty meters above the ground. The 9-mm climbing rope went through the two rappel rings at the top, 100 feet up from the ground, a “free-hanging rappel”, i.e. a lowering technique where there are no walls around or adjacent to you: you’re lowering from what is basically a hole inContinue reading “Trust: the most fundamental form of love”
Tag Archives: relationships
A week of strengthening & broadening bonds
This week I’ve been able to see close friends every single day since getting home from Chicago on Monday. That in and as of itself has been lovely; but what has made it even lovelier has been a strengthening or broadening of the bonds with them. The Chicago trip, just as the Durango trip aContinue reading “A week of strengthening & broadening bonds”
Desperate urgency & holding the line
I’ve been trying to understand my unwillingness to keep up a friendship with the gender-expansive gay guy with whom I had hooked up unless he also takes concrete steps to initiate our meetings/plans. Why am I drawing such a hard line with him that I don’t necessarily draw with other friends? After all, isn’t friendshipContinue reading “Desperate urgency & holding the line”
Two reasons that are hard to let go of
With all the genuine attention and affectionate gestures/behaviors I’m getting from several people in the gay men’s chorus, including even physical affection when I open/loosen up, why did I get so hung up on that one guy with whom I hooked up? After all, he’s not the only one who’s shown me interest, he’s notContinue reading “Two reasons that are hard to let go of”
Rephrasing, Reframing, Reclaiming
Maybe I’ve been acting a bit too much the victim in the situation with the gender-expansive gay guy with whom I hooked up. After all, if I led most of the thing and/or took the initiative most of the time, it’s because I wanted to, because I chose to. I started it, I kept itContinue reading “Rephrasing, Reframing, Reclaiming”
Hanging heartbreaks
Why does every new heartbreak trigger, or re-open, all of the old ones? I need to learn to get closure and/or repair together with the person(s) involved in the breakup(s) with me. I think this is my biggest mistake, or weakness, when it comes to relationships ending. My anger — that has been a faithfulContinue reading “Hanging heartbreaks”
Endings
Yesterday evening, I had the last class of a poetry course that I had been taking for the past eight weeks. Yesterday afternoon, I posted that message on the bulletin board of my chorus to voice my difficulties around our current concert, coming out as aro. And yesterday also marked the very end of directContinue reading “Endings”
Relational ablation
“Ablation” (definition/meaning, e.g. Merriam-Webster dictionary): a) surgical removal; b) loss or removal of a part (such as ice from a glacier or the outside of a nose cone)[…]. In their support of my difficulties at the retreat due to the recent ending of the relationship with the gender-expansive gay guy with whom I had hookedContinue reading “Relational ablation”
A hole is a space you can fill
On Monday evening, a relationship that I cared about, or hoped for, ended. In reality, in my own head & heart, that relationship had ended already the previous week. In fact, on Sunday, foreseeing a difficult conversation with the gender-expansive gay guy from the chorus and ensuing “emotional wreck” state for me, I reached outContinue reading “A hole is a space you can fill”
The comfort & safety of sleepovers
The other aspect of sleepovers that I miss and crave, and sometimes really need, is the sense of comfort and safety that I get from them. They are comforting in a deep way to me, dating back to my childhood. I grew up in a family in which I didn’t feel seen and whereContinue reading “The comfort & safety of sleepovers”
The Little Prince and the Fox 