Tag Archives: relationships

The little things we remember

[Content warnings: loss, grief, death.] Often, it’s the small things we remember about the ones we loved and lost. The color and shape of their eyes. The sound of their laugh. The inflection of their voice as they told us they love us.  “Ich liebe dich”, A. said suddenly, almost bluntly, matter-of-factly, for the firstContinue reading “The little things we remember”

“Maine”

[Content warnings: loss, grief, death.] Often, my favorite songs remind me of beloved persons or meaningful places or memorable experiences. I’ve never been to Maine. I have no connection to Maine, nor does my European queer ex-lover. Yet, Noah Kahan’s song Maine for some reason makes me think of my European queer ex-lover. Maybe it’sContinue reading ““Maine””

Love catches us by surprise, again and again

[Spoiler alert: some details & a quote from the book “A man called Ove” by Fredrik Backman.] In the beautiful book “A man called Ove” by Fredrik Backman, when Ove ends up in the hospital and one of his neighbors goes to check on him, she finds herself suddenly overwhelmed by her concern for OveContinue reading “Love catches us by surprise, again and again”

Healing from the blinding pain

Pain can be blinding. For me, pain often shows up or expresses itself as anger, and anger can easily blind us or make us “see red”. But pain remains blinding for me even once the anger has blown off. As long as the wounds are there, unhealed, I cannot see the full picture, I cannotContinue reading “Healing from the blinding pain”

2025, thus far: a year of healing

Summarizing in just a few words my reflections from yesterday on what this year has been, or brought me, so far, I’d say it’s been a year of healing.  Starting with the physical and emotional healing from the salpingectomy & uterine ablation that I had in December 2024. Healing from the aborted friendship with benefitsContinue reading “2025, thus far: a year of healing”

Reap what we sow…?

This has been my most productive year in terms of running: I’ve done (& won) four races in six months, the first one only six weeks after major surgery in my lower abdomen, and I might still manage to do one more before the end of this calendar year.  I think I’m starting to feelContinue reading “Reap what we sow…?”

South Dakota solo trip — Day 1

I made it to South Dakota for a few days of a solo trip to camp, hike, and trail run in the Black Hills & Mt. Rushmore area.  Funny the things one thinks about while driving alone for hundreds of miles.  Towards the end of my drive today, I found myself counting the number ofContinue reading “South Dakota solo trip — Day 1”

Compartmentalizing — Decompartmentalizing?

I tend to compartmentalize my relationships: friends with whom I walk&talk or meet for tea or dinner or movie night; friends with whom I go out dancing; running buddies; climbing buddies. And sometimes, friends with benefits, with whom I usually share little more than sex and some emotional and/or intellectual connection.  It wasn’t always thatContinue reading “Compartmentalizing — Decompartmentalizing?”

Flow-of-consciousness thoughts & feelings on my unmet relational needs

My mind likes to have something to focus on. Or something to obsess about. And periodically, it obsesses about “having a boyfriend” (whatever that may mean for someone who is aro-ace). I often – more and more often – think that the importance my buddies have for me or the affection I feel for themContinue reading “Flow-of-consciousness thoughts & feelings on my unmet relational needs”