[Spoiler alert: some details & a quote from the book “A man called Ove” by Fredrik Backman.] In the beautiful book “A man called Ove” by Fredrik Backman, when Ove ends up in the hospital and one of his neighbors goes to check on him, she finds herself suddenly overwhelmed by her concern for OveContinue reading “Love catches us by surprise, again and again”
Tag Archives: love
Healing from the blinding pain
Pain can be blinding. For me, pain often shows up or expresses itself as anger, and anger can easily blind us or make us “see red”. But pain remains blinding for me even once the anger has blown off. As long as the wounds are there, unhealed, I cannot see the full picture, I cannotContinue reading “Healing from the blinding pain”
2025, thus far: a year of healing
Summarizing in just a few words my reflections from yesterday on what this year has been, or brought me, so far, I’d say it’s been a year of healing. Starting with the physical and emotional healing from the salpingectomy & uterine ablation that I had in December 2024. Healing from the aborted friendship with benefitsContinue reading “2025, thus far: a year of healing”
South Dakota solo trip — Day 1
I made it to South Dakota for a few days of a solo trip to camp, hike, and trail run in the Black Hills & Mt. Rushmore area. Funny the things one thinks about while driving alone for hundreds of miles. Towards the end of my drive today, I found myself counting the number ofContinue reading “South Dakota solo trip — Day 1”
Compartmentalizing — Decompartmentalizing?
I tend to compartmentalize my relationships: friends with whom I walk&talk or meet for tea or dinner or movie night; friends with whom I go out dancing; running buddies; climbing buddies. And sometimes, friends with benefits, with whom I usually share little more than sex and some emotional and/or intellectual connection. It wasn’t always thatContinue reading “Compartmentalizing — Decompartmentalizing?”
Exile and longings
I’m reading another of the novels from Ursula Le Guin’s collection of “Hainish Novels & Stories”. I’m not going to go into all the reasons I like, really admire, her works. There is one central reason, or theme, that speaks to me: that of exile and longing. In all of her “Hainish Novels” that IContinue reading “Exile and longings”
Flow-of-consciousness thoughts & feelings on my unmet relational needs
My mind likes to have something to focus on. Or something to obsess about. And periodically, it obsesses about “having a boyfriend” (whatever that may mean for someone who is aro-ace). I often – more and more often – think that the importance my buddies have for me or the affection I feel for themContinue reading “Flow-of-consciousness thoughts & feelings on my unmet relational needs”
Finding myself again
A quarter of a century ago, the summer after I had finished high school, I met a boy who was nearly three years younger than I and who quickly became one of my closest friends and biggest loves. We were sailing partners, buddies, lovers, siblings. We’re still in touch to this day — in fact,Continue reading “Finding myself again”
Explorations, revelations, validations
Last night I went out dancing with two guys from the chorus who are also newbies: with one of them I connected over the Pride weekend; with the other I had had a few conversations when he had just joined the chorus (3 months after I did) and I had made a point of welcomingContinue reading “Explorations, revelations, validations”
Something died within me: nothing to look forward to
[Trigger warnings: death, loss, grief; depression.] I spend a lot of time in my head: rumination, dreams, memories. The present is bleak, the future a black hole with nothing to look forward to. Five years ago, with the COVID pandemic, something broke for me. Something broke me — the long illness, the complete isolation, theContinue reading “Something died within me: nothing to look forward to”
The Little Prince and the Fox 