For seven years, from 2008/2009 to 2015/2016, I was together with someone who was my sexual, “romantic”, and nesting partner. We met in grad school through our common group of friends and got together the last year of our PhD. We moved in together after about a year of being sexually involved with each otherContinue reading “The lesser of two evils”
Tag Archives: love
A mistake but not necessarily wrong
“ Lomeli said in a low voice, “Did I do the right thing, Vincent? What is your opinion?” “No one who follows their conscience ever does wrong, Your Eminence. The consequences may not turn out as we intend; it may prove in time that we made a mistake. But that is not the same asContinue reading “A mistake but not necessarily wrong”
Trust: the most fundamental form of love
We were swinging freely almost twenty meters above the ground. The 9-mm climbing rope went through the two rappel rings at the top, 100 feet up from the ground, a “free-hanging rappel”, i.e. a lowering technique where there are no walls around or adjacent to you: you’re lowering from what is basically a hole inContinue reading “Trust: the most fundamental form of love”
Friendship: “Highway Queen”
This is how I feel about, or one way I would describe, true friendship: “ Well, there’s only a few pines left by the highway side And they all whistle as the wind rips straight through your pride Baby, it’s only your eyes and mine And this darkness that grows in time Oh, ‘cause youContinue reading “Friendship: “Highway Queen””
A week of strengthening & broadening bonds
This week I’ve been able to see close friends every single day since getting home from Chicago on Monday. That in and as of itself has been lovely; but what has made it even lovelier has been a strengthening or broadening of the bonds with them. The Chicago trip, just as the Durango trip aContinue reading “A week of strengthening & broadening bonds”
Desperate urgency & holding the line
I’ve been trying to understand my unwillingness to keep up a friendship with the gender-expansive gay guy with whom I had hooked up unless he also takes concrete steps to initiate our meetings/plans. Why am I drawing such a hard line with him that I don’t necessarily draw with other friends? After all, isn’t friendshipContinue reading “Desperate urgency & holding the line”
The broken chain & the rings that remain
Monday, almost a week ago, was a “Big Day”. A day of “one big beginning and one final ending”, I wrote then. But it turned out to be a day of two beginnings. For almost half-a-dozen years I had been wearing a silver chain around my neck with two silver rings on it that areContinue reading “The broken chain & the rings that remain”
Rephrasing, Reframing, Reclaiming
Maybe I’ve been acting a bit too much the victim in the situation with the gender-expansive gay guy with whom I hooked up. After all, if I led most of the thing and/or took the initiative most of the time, it’s because I wanted to, because I chose to. I started it, I kept itContinue reading “Rephrasing, Reframing, Reclaiming”
This hard week ahead
It’s Monday. Not as bad as last week but still hard. And a hard week ahead. Since starting to sing with the gay men’s chorus last September, Mondays have become a day of great emotional upheaval. For nearly two months at the beginning, the emotions were mostly negative, difficult, and painful. Then, they became joyfulContinue reading “This hard week ahead”
Pink Pony Boy
I’m still smiling from pure, intense, almost overwhelming joy. It’s filling me up in such a wonderful, easy way. Last night I went out dancing with one of the guys from the gay men’s chorus. He’s the cis man with whom I had danced Swing at the end of November — my first, wonderful experienceContinue reading “Pink Pony Boy”
The Little Prince and the Fox 