This has been my most productive year in terms of running: I’ve done (& won) four races in six months, the first one only six weeks after major surgery in my lower abdomen, and I might still manage to do one more before the end of this calendar year. I think I’m starting to feelContinue reading “Reap what we sow…?”
Tag Archives: life
Exile and longings
I’m reading another of the novels from Ursula Le Guin’s collection of “Hainish Novels & Stories”. I’m not going to go into all the reasons I like, really admire, her works. There is one central reason, or theme, that speaks to me: that of exile and longing. In all of her “Hainish Novels” that IContinue reading “Exile and longings”
Flow-of-consciousness thoughts & feelings on my unmet relational needs
My mind likes to have something to focus on. Or something to obsess about. And periodically, it obsesses about “having a boyfriend” (whatever that may mean for someone who is aro-ace). I often – more and more often – think that the importance my buddies have for me or the affection I feel for themContinue reading “Flow-of-consciousness thoughts & feelings on my unmet relational needs”
Shooting stars
On Tuesday night, I stayed up later than usual after dinner, wrapped up in a big blue blanket, lying on the picnic table at my campsite and looking up at the sky, watching for shooting stars. I saw four, then tiredness got the better of me and I headed into my little tent, to cozyContinue reading “Shooting stars”
Something died within me: nothing to look forward to
[Trigger warnings: death, loss, grief; depression.] I spend a lot of time in my head: rumination, dreams, memories. The present is bleak, the future a black hole with nothing to look forward to. Five years ago, with the COVID pandemic, something broke for me. Something broke me — the long illness, the complete isolation, theContinue reading “Something died within me: nothing to look forward to”
The lesser of two evils
For seven years, from 2008/2009 to 2015/2016, I was together with someone who was my sexual, “romantic”, and nesting partner. We met in grad school through our common group of friends and got together the last year of our PhD. We moved in together after about a year of being sexually involved with each otherContinue reading “The lesser of two evils”
A mistake but not necessarily wrong
“ Lomeli said in a low voice, “Did I do the right thing, Vincent? What is your opinion?” “No one who follows their conscience ever does wrong, Your Eminence. The consequences may not turn out as we intend; it may prove in time that we made a mistake. But that is not the same asContinue reading “A mistake but not necessarily wrong”
Friendship: “Highway Queen”
This is how I feel about, or one way I would describe, true friendship: “ Well, there’s only a few pines left by the highway side And they all whistle as the wind rips straight through your pride Baby, it’s only your eyes and mine And this darkness that grows in time Oh, ‘cause youContinue reading “Friendship: “Highway Queen””
A week of strengthening & broadening bonds
This week I’ve been able to see close friends every single day since getting home from Chicago on Monday. That in and as of itself has been lovely; but what has made it even lovelier has been a strengthening or broadening of the bonds with them. The Chicago trip, just as the Durango trip aContinue reading “A week of strengthening & broadening bonds”
Travel solo to explore or escape?
[Content warnings: loneliness, sorrow, loss, breakups, death of parent.] Traveling has always been part of my life: it was something we did with my family of origin; then, I also started doing it with the families of my best friends and, eventually, just me and my friends. Technically, the first time I traveled by myselfContinue reading “Travel solo to explore or escape?”
The Little Prince and the Fox 