[Trigger warning: sex/sexuality.] I am asexual. I know I keep saying this over and over again. But I feel I have to — and this irritates me and pains me — because I’m feeling invalidated by people over and over again, with some of the usual gaslighting that ace people so often get, e.g. “maybeContinue reading “The asexual hookup”
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The importance (& novelty) of platonic human touch
Last night, I cried a lot. Silent tears, on and off. But I didn’t cry alone. I was within a loving community and with two good friends. And along with the tears there were lots of hugs, warm embraces as we held each other’s hands, as we held each other in our arms, standingContinue reading “The importance (& novelty) of platonic human touch”
TDOR 2024: we shall not forget
[Trigger warnings: transphobia, violent deaths, hate crimes, shooting; grief.] I’m still feeling a complex and intense mix of emotions from last night’s Trans Day Of Remembrance celebrations — and tired from another night of poor sleep as my mind couldn’t settle. I went to last night’s event with my oldest/closet nonbinary transmasc friend and withContinue reading “TDOR 2024: we shall not forget”
Only one week away!
… And next week I have my first two performances with the gay men’s chorus — the first one being only one week away!!! I’m so excited & happy about it! I’ve finally found my voice, literally, this beautiful trans voice of mine. And I love how it sounds, how it feels — how IContinue reading “Only one week away!”
Trans Day Of Remembrance 2024
This is my third Trans Day Of Remembrance in Colorado. And probably the one I’m feeling, and celebrating, the most — at least, until now. The first one, in 2022, I was sick/recovering from COVID. Last year, TDOR 2023 almost passed unnoticed for me because I was so swamped with work. This year, I’m fullyContinue reading “Trans Day Of Remembrance 2024”
Shifting boundaries and conflicting needs
The night between Sunday & Monday, after rehearsal with the gay men’s chorus, I barely got four hours of sleep. The interactions with the guy on whom I have an intense, albeit aro-ace, crush had thrown me for a loop. Basically, we seemed to intentionally ignore each other during most of the evening both duringContinue reading “Shifting boundaries and conflicting needs”
The gift of friendship
A few days ago, one of my closets friends here in Colorado said to me that I “have a gift for friendship”. That’s one of the highest compliments I could be given, one of the loveliest things I could be told. And I’m not sure I deserve such a compliment. More simply, I would sayContinue reading “The gift of friendship”
Aro-ace crush
I have a crush on one of the guys in the gay men’s chorus. Admittedly, I hardly know this person. But there have been more direct interactions between us than with other choir members and there seems seems to be a mutual liking, although I don’t exactly know of what sort on their part. IContinue reading “Aro-ace crush”
For lack of a penis?
[Trigger warnings: misgendering, potential transphobia; nude modeling; references to naked body parts, incl. genitals.] In my nude modeling session yesterday I was heavily misgendered by the instructor (a woman in, I’m guessing, her mid-forties). And it was one of the most upsetting experiences I’ve had. We started out with a standard set of gestures andContinue reading “For lack of a penis?”
Turning the sieve into a bucket?
Last night I had the first full, regular rehearsal with the gay men’s chorus again after the retreat two weeks ago. And it was lovely. Having reached out to a few trusted members before the retreat and then going to the retreat itself have really helped me feel more comfortable with myself within this choir. Continue reading “Turning the sieve into a bucket?”
The Little Prince and the Fox 