The gender-expansive guy with whom I hooked up in the chorus & I both feel that our interactions have been “more than just hooking up”: we like each other and want to really build a friendship, leaving open the possibility of being “friends with benefits” further down along the road. “Friendship with benefits” is somethingContinue reading “The intimacy of sleepovers”
Tag Archives: relationships
Choosing my personal safety: an act of self-care
I’m feeling frustrated. Even sad and somewhat angry. Yet what I did yesterday evening was a practical, firm act of self-care and a concrete instance of putting one of my New Year’s resolutions into practice, i.e. “not pursuing unavailable relationships/situations”. The plans for yesterday evening were that I was going to meet one of myContinue reading “Choosing my personal safety: an act of self-care”
“Miss you, bro.”
“How are things going for you? Miss you, bro.” Text message that one of my cis-het male climbing buddies sent me yesterday. It is messages like this one — messages and calls and visits from friends; walks&talks, lunch or coffee/tea, and movie nights with friends; all the gestures of affection and care, all the qualityContinue reading ““Miss you, bro.””
Meeting people where they’re at
Yesterday I had planned to meet up & hang out with the gender-expansive gay guy from the chorus with whom I’ve hooked up in order to have a clarifying conversation about our “friendship”. I knew what I wanted to ask him, what I wanted to say, feeling the additional protection of my post-op restrictions thatContinue reading “Meeting people where they’re at”
Shifting boundaries and conflicting needs
The night between Sunday & Monday, after rehearsal with the gay men’s chorus, I barely got four hours of sleep. The interactions with the guy on whom I have an intense, albeit aro-ace, crush had thrown me for a loop. Basically, we seemed to intentionally ignore each other during most of the evening both duringContinue reading “Shifting boundaries and conflicting needs”
The gift of friendship
A few days ago, one of my closets friends here in Colorado said to me that I “have a gift for friendship”. That’s one of the highest compliments I could be given, one of the loveliest things I could be told. And I’m not sure I deserve such a compliment. More simply, I would sayContinue reading “The gift of friendship”
Craving platonic human touch
I miss human touch. But I’m also terrified of it. I have similar contradictory feelings when it comes to the desire for connection with & interest from gay men. I think both of these contradictory desires of mine boil down to the same thing: I crave platonic human touch. I not only want human touch,Continue reading “Craving platonic human touch”
The Little Prince and the Fox 