Why does every new heartbreak trigger, or re-open, all of the old ones? I need to learn to get closure and/or repair together with the person(s) involved in the breakup(s) with me. I think this is my biggest mistake, or weakness, when it comes to relationships ending. My anger — that has been a faithfulContinue reading “Hanging heartbreaks”
Tag Archives: love
“… a version of you that I might not have but will not lose”
“ As you promised me that I was more than all the miles combined You must have had yourself a change of heart like Halfway through the drive ‘Cause your voice trailed off exactly as you passed my exit sign You kept on drivin’ straight and left our future to the right Now I amContinue reading ““… a version of you that I might not have but will not lose””
Aromanticism & Amatonormativity: my difficulties with our Spring concert
I’m thinking of writing the following message (as a post in the bulletin board) to my chorus members because the amatonormative assumptions that are being made around the content of our next concert have come to be just too uncomfortable and othering for me. I am aromantic. Coming out as aro is often harder forContinue reading “Aromanticism & Amatonormativity: my difficulties with our Spring concert”
“when you have forgotten Sunday: the love story”
“ —And when you have forgotten the bright bedclothes on a Wednesday and a Saturday, And most especially when you have forgotten Sunday— When you have forgotten Sunday halves in bed, Or me sitting on the front-room radiator in the limping afternoon Looking off down the long street To nowhere, Hugged by my plain oldContinue reading ““when you have forgotten Sunday: the love story””
A hole is a space you can fill
On Monday evening, a relationship that I cared about, or hoped for, ended. In reality, in my own head & heart, that relationship had ended already the previous week. In fact, on Sunday, foreseeing a difficult conversation with the gender-expansive gay guy from the chorus and ensuing “emotional wreck” state for me, I reached outContinue reading “A hole is a space you can fill”
The intimacy of sleepovers
The gender-expansive guy with whom I hooked up in the chorus & I both feel that our interactions have been “more than just hooking up”: we like each other and want to really build a friendship, leaving open the possibility of being “friends with benefits” further down along the road. “Friendship with benefits” is somethingContinue reading “The intimacy of sleepovers”
The lovely second celebration of my “double anniversary”
Yesterday was my “double anniversary”: three years since my arrival in Colorado, driving through snow storms, on Jan. 26th, 2022; and two years since my gender-affirming top-surgery on Jan. 26th, 2023. Last year, I celebrated these important milestones partying all weekend, going out dancing two nights in a row with many of my close friendsContinue reading “The lovely second celebration of my “double anniversary””
“The people I love the best”
Yesterday evening I started my first poetry class and the instructor shared a poem by Marge Piercy, To be of use. To me this felt like a concrete image of love, of friendship, as I imagine it, as I experience it. This is the way I hope to give and receive love and friendship —Continue reading ““The people I love the best””
Meeting people where they’re at
Yesterday I had planned to meet up & hang out with the gender-expansive gay guy from the chorus with whom I’ve hooked up in order to have a clarifying conversation about our “friendship”. I knew what I wanted to ask him, what I wanted to say, feeling the additional protection of my post-op restrictions thatContinue reading “Meeting people where they’re at”
The gift of friendship
A few days ago, one of my closets friends here in Colorado said to me that I “have a gift for friendship”. That’s one of the highest compliments I could be given, one of the loveliest things I could be told. And I’m not sure I deserve such a compliment. More simply, I would sayContinue reading “The gift of friendship”
The Little Prince and the Fox 