adventurerliberated

The tip of winter is here

Last night, we got the first snow of the season here in Colorado (apart from the snow up in the mountains). It’s been a whole month later that in 2022 & 2023 and four weeks later than last year. It was just a sprinkle, just enough to cover the rooftops, and it’s already almost gone inContinue reading “The tip of winter is here”

Grief haircut

This afternoon, despite the cold winter weather, I went and got almost all my hair shaved off. I’ve worn lots of different hairstyles in the past three decades, mostly short or medium-short. At any given moment, though, regardless of the hairstyle, when I feel intense pain — mostly pain from loss and/or grief — IContinue reading “Grief haircut”

“I’ll be OK”

“ I feel the love but not from the ones who love me I’m not alone, so why am I so lonely? I’m too stressed to be depressed I must confess I ain’t so blessed It eats me up but still, I’ve got a heart that’s hungry I’ll be okay, but I’m not okay right now I’ll be okay,Continue reading ““I’ll be OK””

Hard week

This is a hard week. On the one hand, there’s the realistic, almost chemical, fact of coming down after 2-3 weeks of almost steady high, nonstop go-go-go — hence the ensuing physical tiredness and also a sense of emptiness. But what makes this particular “low after the high” so hard is that it’s Thanksgiving week. Continue reading “Hard week”

Born again — Dead again

[Trigger warnings: death; loss of loved one; grief.] This weekend I was reminded very painfully of how life and death are the two sides of the same coin. Two weeks ago in Chicago, on my 44th birthday, I was born again as my chosen name and affirmed gender were registered at the Italian Consulate —Continue reading “Born again — Dead again”

Born again

Yesterday, as I was chatting on the phone with one of my best friends from grad school, I noticed the Priority Mail envelope outside my front door, the envelope that I had anxiously been awaiting for a few days. Excited, I interrupted my friend mid-sentence, opened the door, grabbed the envelope and ripped it open:Continue reading “Born again”

The “nice guys” in my life

“Happy birthday, man”. “Happy birthday, dude”. “Happy birthday, brother”. It’s a series of big tight “guy hugs” from some of my new cis-het buddies as I celebrate my birthday over beers with the co-ed climbing team after our weekly training. When I joined this climbing team about a month ago, I did so “stealth” andContinue reading “The “nice guys” in my life”

TDOR 2025

[Trigger warnings: transphobia; physical/psychological/emotional violence; death.] Today is Trans Days Of Remembrance. This year, given the actual war that the fascist Trump administration is leading against our community, it is a sadder and more important day than ever to remember. I’m one of the lucky ones — at least, for now. I live in aContinue reading “TDOR 2025”

Crash: the lows after the highs

Here it is, the low after the high. Ten days ago, I ran my fastest half marathon on trail, shaving off 7 minutes from the time my coach had projected for me and winning first place nonbinary. I was able to compete & be awarded fairly and to be proudly visible as my trans, nonbinaryContinue reading “Crash: the lows after the highs”

This has been one of my best birthdays ever. Four days before my birthday, I won a race, effectively running my fastest half marathon on trail, shaving off 7 minutes from the time my coach had projected for me. And four days after my birthday, I won my first (recreational) climbing competition. But, more importantly,Continue reading