“Did you know I was trans?”, I ask the gay climber as we hike in the first full moon of the new year. “I assumed you might be from something you said to M. at dinner the other night but otherwise I wouldn’t have known”, he replies, then adding, “And anyway, I don’t care whatContinue reading “Not “man enough”?”
Tag Archives: lgbtq
The many levels of pain beneath the umpteenth rejection
This afternoon, I got the umpteenth rejection. Once again, it was from a gay cis-man. I was expecting it, I had a gut feeling he didn’t return my feelings of physical attraction, but still I needed to clarify explicitly. We’ve been friends for only a couple of months, having met through a common climbing buddy,Continue reading “The many levels of pain beneath the umpteenth rejection”
What next?
A week ago, I was sick, coming down with a bad cold just a few days before my planned “grand finale” race for the year: my first longer-than-half-marathon trail run in Southern California on December 6th. All of last week, amidst extremely dark bouts of depression, was spent with the sole focus of getting overContinue reading “What next?”
The “nice guys” in my life
“Happy birthday, man”. “Happy birthday, dude”. “Happy birthday, brother”. It’s a series of big tight “guy hugs” from some of my new cis-het buddies as I celebrate my birthday over beers with the co-ed climbing team after our weekly training. When I joined this climbing team about a month ago, I did so “stealth” andContinue reading “The “nice guys” in my life”
TDOR 2025
[Trigger warnings: transphobia; physical/psychological/emotional violence; death.] Today is Trans Days Of Remembrance. This year, given the actual war that the fascist Trump administration is leading against our community, it is a sadder and more important day than ever to remember. I’m one of the lucky ones — at least, for now. I live in aContinue reading “TDOR 2025”
Crash: the lows after the highs
Here it is, the low after the high. Ten days ago, I ran my fastest half marathon on trail, shaving off 7 minutes from the time my coach had projected for me and winning first place nonbinary. I was able to compete & be awarded fairly and to be proudly visible as my trans, nonbinaryContinue reading “Crash: the lows after the highs”
Removing filters: an honest view and another hard lesson
Two weeks ago, after a half-marathon trail race where I wore my “Trans Pride” shorts that have hearts with the trans flag on the butt cheeks, a guy (cis-man) came up to me and said, “I like your shorts, especially the hearts with the trans flag on the butt. I was running behind you forContinue reading “Removing filters: an honest view and another hard lesson”
South Dakota solo trip — Day 1
I made it to South Dakota for a few days of a solo trip to camp, hike, and trail run in the Black Hills & Mt. Rushmore area. Funny the things one thinks about while driving alone for hundreds of miles. Towards the end of my drive today, I found myself counting the number ofContinue reading “South Dakota solo trip — Day 1”
My people — Queering relationships
Four guys in a picture. Four smiling young men. The fifth is the one with the good camera and photographer skills, taking the picture. One is Russian of Ukrainian ethnicity; one is French with a German surname; one is part Italian, part American, part English, part German. They’re different heights, different builds; they have differentContinue reading “My people — Queering relationships”
Wonderful validations & liberating clarifications
Last night, I went to the birthday celebration of one of the more outgoing & friendly people in the gay men’s chorus, joining folks at a queer club. Overall, I really had fun and the night felt affirming and liberating in several ways that are still making me glow now. Fortunately, my closest nonbinary transmascContinue reading “Wonderful validations & liberating clarifications”
The Little Prince and the Fox 