“ Running again, no sports-bra needed anymore, with my boy’s chest Climbing shirtless, bare rock under my fingers, with my boy’s chest Swimming, fresh water flowing over my whole body, with my boy’s chest Standing in front of the mirror, smiling, recognizing myself at last With my boy’s chest ”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
It gets more terrifying for trans people every day
[Trigger warning: transphobic measures] Trans (as well as nonbinary, gender-nonconforming, and intersex) people are being stripped of their human rights, daily, one move at a time (& this latest move affects me directly, in a terrifying way, both for my passport and for my CRBA): “… According to the new memo, passports and Consular ReportContinue reading “It gets more terrifying for trans people every day”
Dark Nights — Unbearable Loneliness
I remember feeling this way back in California. The dark, dark nights when all the darkest thoughts, the most unbearable loneliness, the deepest and most wrenching craving for comforting human touch that I couldn’t have kept me awake for hours or haunted my restless dreams. I’m sure I had some moments like that here inContinue reading “Dark Nights — Unbearable Loneliness”
“Rumination”
“ Hello thoughts, you’re not me You’re just birds seeking shelter In my mind like a tree “
Do animals really know when they’re about to die?
[Trigger warnings: aging, dying, death.] Do animals really know when they’re about to die? I don’t want to go into the scary details here, but the physical and mental decline that I have been experiencing over the past year feel more than just the “natural decline that starts in the fourth decade of life”. I’mContinue reading “Do animals really know when they’re about to die?”
“… we’re all terminal on this bus”
[Trigger warnings: terminal illness; death; loss.] From Anne Lamott’s book Bird by bird [chapter Writer’s Block]: “ I remind myself nearly every day of something that a doctor told me six months before my friend Pammy died. This was a doctor who always gave me straight answers. When I called on this one particular night,Continue reading ““… we’re all terminal on this bus””
“Some instructions on writing and life”
“On a bad day you […] don’t need a lot of advice. You just need a little empathy and affirmation. You need to feel once again that other people have confidence in you.” “A big heart is both a clunky and a delicate thing; it doesn’t protect itself and it doesn’t hide. It stands out,Continue reading ““Some instructions on writing and life””
“August in Waterton, Alberta”
“ Above me, wind does its best to blow leaves off the aspen tree a month too soon. No use wind. All you succeed in doing is making music, the noise of failure growing beautiful. “ [Poem August in Waterton, Alberta by Bill Holm]
The comfort & safety of sleepovers
The other aspect of sleepovers that I miss and crave, and sometimes really need, is the sense of comfort and safety that I get from them. They are comforting in a deep way to me, dating back to my childhood. I grew up in a family in which I didn’t feel seen and whereContinue reading “The comfort & safety of sleepovers”
The intimacy of sleepovers
The gender-expansive guy with whom I hooked up in the chorus & I both feel that our interactions have been “more than just hooking up”: we like each other and want to really build a friendship, leaving open the possibility of being “friends with benefits” further down along the road. “Friendship with benefits” is somethingContinue reading “The intimacy of sleepovers”
The Little Prince and the Fox 