It’s mid-summer. After almost a year of paperwork and emailing back & forth with the Italian Consulate in Chicago and the City Hall of the city where I was born back in Europe, I have finally received the communication that I didn’t dare hope for: “Your sex change has been accepted and your gender amendedContinue reading “Explorative, affirming birthday week”
Tag Archives: sex
South Dakota solo trip — Day 1
I made it to South Dakota for a few days of a solo trip to camp, hike, and trail run in the Black Hills & Mt. Rushmore area. Funny the things one thinks about while driving alone for hundreds of miles. Towards the end of my drive today, I found myself counting the number ofContinue reading “South Dakota solo trip — Day 1”
Compartmentalizing — Decompartmentalizing?
I tend to compartmentalize my relationships: friends with whom I walk&talk or meet for tea or dinner or movie night; friends with whom I go out dancing; running buddies; climbing buddies. And sometimes, friends with benefits, with whom I usually share little more than sex and some emotional and/or intellectual connection. It wasn’t always thatContinue reading “Compartmentalizing — Decompartmentalizing?”
Flow-of-consciousness thoughts & feelings on my unmet relational needs
My mind likes to have something to focus on. Or something to obsess about. And periodically, it obsesses about “having a boyfriend” (whatever that may mean for someone who is aro-ace). I often – more and more often – think that the importance my buddies have for me or the affection I feel for themContinue reading “Flow-of-consciousness thoughts & feelings on my unmet relational needs”
Two reasons that are hard to let go of
With all the genuine attention and affectionate gestures/behaviors I’m getting from several people in the gay men’s chorus, including even physical affection when I open/loosen up, why did I get so hung up on that one guy with whom I hooked up? After all, he’s not the only one who’s shown me interest, he’s notContinue reading “Two reasons that are hard to let go of”
I’m not a “hot guy”
The first time I hooked up with the gender-expansive gay guy from the chorus, he said to me just twice, “You’re a hot guy”, and it felt extremely affirming to me. I don’t see myself as a “hot guy” but hearing it explicitly from a gay man is validating of my gender-identity. At least inContinue reading “I’m not a “hot guy””
The asexual hookup
[Trigger warning: sex/sexuality.] I am asexual. I know I keep saying this over and over again. But I feel I have to — and this irritates me and pains me — because I’m feeling invalidated by people over and over again, with some of the usual gaslighting that ace people so often get, e.g. “maybeContinue reading “The asexual hookup”
The Little Prince and the Fox 