My mind likes to have something to focus on. Or something to obsess about. And periodically, it obsesses about “having a boyfriend” (whatever that may mean for someone who is aro-ace). I often – more and more often – think that the importance my buddies have for me or the affection I feel for themContinue reading “Flow-of-consciousness thoughts & feelings on my unmet relational needs”
Tag Archives: aro
Crumbs
One of the reasons I left California and moved to Colorado in January of 2022 was because I was so lonely in California, having been unable during the six years I lived there to make friends locally in a way that fulfilled my relational needs. I chose Colorado because, among other things, I found itContinue reading “Crumbs”
The important, painful reality of my being ace-aro & autistic
‘[…] Most of us are haunted by the sense there’s something “wrong” or “missing” in our lives — that we’re sacrificing far more of ourselves than other people in order to get by and receiving far less in return.’ [from Chapter 1 of the book Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price] Although seemingly “superficial” andContinue reading “The important, painful reality of my being ace-aro & autistic”
Two reasons that are hard to let go of
With all the genuine attention and affectionate gestures/behaviors I’m getting from several people in the gay men’s chorus, including even physical affection when I open/loosen up, why did I get so hung up on that one guy with whom I hooked up? After all, he’s not the only one who’s shown me interest, he’s notContinue reading “Two reasons that are hard to let go of”
Aromanticism & Amatonormativity: my difficulties with our Spring concert
I’m thinking of writing the following message (as a post in the bulletin board) to my chorus members because the amatonormative assumptions that are being made around the content of our next concert have come to be just too uncomfortable and othering for me. I am aromantic. Coming out as aro is often harder forContinue reading “Aromanticism & Amatonormativity: my difficulties with our Spring concert”
“Miss you, bro.”
“How are things going for you? Miss you, bro.” Text message that one of my cis-het male climbing buddies sent me yesterday. It is messages like this one — messages and calls and visits from friends; walks&talks, lunch or coffee/tea, and movie nights with friends; all the gestures of affection and care, all the qualityContinue reading ““Miss you, bro.””
The Little Prince and the Fox 