I might have to sleep in my car tonight. We’ll see. I got back from my hike just in time, as it was starting to drizzle, before it began to pour. It rained pretty hard for about half an hour, now it has stopped again. The inside of my tent is dry but the grass &Continue reading “South Dakota solo trip — Day 2”
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South Dakota solo trip — Day 1
I made it to South Dakota for a few days of a solo trip to camp, hike, and trail run in the Black Hills & Mt. Rushmore area. Funny the things one thinks about while driving alone for hundreds of miles. Towards the end of my drive today, I found myself counting the number ofContinue reading “South Dakota solo trip — Day 1”
Compartmentalizing — Decompartmentalizing?
I tend to compartmentalize my relationships: friends with whom I walk&talk or meet for tea or dinner or movie night; friends with whom I go out dancing; running buddies; climbing buddies. And sometimes, friends with benefits, with whom I usually share little more than sex and some emotional and/or intellectual connection. It wasn’t always thatContinue reading “Compartmentalizing — Decompartmentalizing?”
Exile and longings
I’m reading another of the novels from Ursula Le Guin’s collection of “Hainish Novels & Stories”. I’m not going to go into all the reasons I like, really admire, her works. There is one central reason, or theme, that speaks to me: that of exile and longing. In all of her “Hainish Novels” that IContinue reading “Exile and longings”
Flow-of-consciousness thoughts & feelings on my unmet relational needs
My mind likes to have something to focus on. Or something to obsess about. And periodically, it obsesses about “having a boyfriend” (whatever that may mean for someone who is aro-ace). I often – more and more often – think that the importance my buddies have for me or the affection I feel for themContinue reading “Flow-of-consciousness thoughts & feelings on my unmet relational needs”
Shooting stars
On Tuesday night, I stayed up later than usual after dinner, wrapped up in a big blue blanket, lying on the picnic table at my campsite and looking up at the sky, watching for shooting stars. I saw four, then tiredness got the better of me and I headed into my little tent, to cozyContinue reading “Shooting stars”
Finding myself again
A quarter of a century ago, the summer after I had finished high school, I met a boy who was nearly three years younger than I and who quickly became one of my closest friends and biggest loves. We were sailing partners, buddies, lovers, siblings. We’re still in touch to this day — in fact,Continue reading “Finding myself again”
Pinnacle
[Trigger warning: loss, grief.] This is a very hard week with memories connected to my father unearthing all the grief from that loss along with the loss of my European (gender)queer ex-lover who had supported me through the loss of my father. There are moments where I’m just overwhelmed by the grief and tears gushContinue reading “Pinnacle”
Missed birthday
[Trigger warning: death, grief.] Today’s my dad’s birthday: he would be turning 74. But he died two years ago, on 12th July, 2023, four days short of turning 72 and exactly four months before my own birthday.
Explorations, revelations, validations
Last night I went out dancing with two guys from the chorus who are also newbies: with one of them I connected over the Pride weekend; with the other I had had a few conversations when he had just joined the chorus (3 months after I did) and I had made a point of welcomingContinue reading “Explorations, revelations, validations”
The Little Prince and the Fox 