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People stare at me.  Adults at the swimming-pool on average look at me with a longer and/or slightly more puzzled look than they used to when I was female-presenting and wearing some type of standard woman’s swimsuit.  Last Saturday, three teenage boys kept staring at me and talking amongst themselves as I stretched on theContinue reading “People staring”

https://www.npr.org/2023/02/09/1155819217/young-florida-athletes-wont-have-to-share-their-menstrual-cycle-details-to-compe https://www.npr.org/2023/04/05/1168219569/authors-of-banned-books-are-fed-up-and-fighting-back https://www.npr.org/2023/04/19/1170553504/florida-abortion-life-of-the-mother-exception-mental-health-suicide-psychiatric https://www.npr.org/2023/04/19/1170919494/fate-of-abortion-pills-remains-in-doubt-as-supreme-court-ponders-lower-court-ver

I guess I’m an optimist who cannot avoid seeing — or trying to find — the silver lining in everything…  The silver lining of the abusive situation with my former housemate/landlady escalating and exploding three weeks ago is that it led to a much deeper connection with people within my choir/queer community in a wayContinue reading “A deeper sense of belonging”

“…  If you want to see the world, you have to say goodbye Cause a map does no good hanging on a wall If you want to see the world, you have to say goodbye Cause a map does no good hanging on a wall ” [from the song “Map on a wall” by LucyContinue reading ““Map on a wall””

A week later, I’ve changed, and let go of, another California plate: the one on my motorcycle. Now, my motorcycle proudly exhibits the temporary version of its new, Colorado, plate.  I’m realizing that part of the reason — and possibly the major part of the reason — why I sometimes still miss certain aspects andContinue reading “Pieces of settling in to Colorado…”

I feel the need to write, to desperately write, letting it all out in some creative way. Or draw, do a big, a huge painting, to draw out my feelings.  I wish I were more of an artist, a better artist. I wish I could let things out in a creative way that could beContinue reading “Letting go of another little piece of California”

This past week I attended several events for the Transgender Awareness Week, including two festive events this weekend.  Last year, only two months after my move from California to Colorado, I attended some similar events for the Transgender Awareness Week.  A year later now, in many ways I’ve come so far… Even just from theContinue reading “What am I?”

Today, exactly two months and one day after my masculinizing mastectomy, I finally went back to the swimming pool and trained bare-chested, wearing a man’s Speedo for the first time in my adult life!  It felt great!  It also felt weird — it’s still so unfamiliar to me… And I still feel vulnerable and exposed,Continue reading “The boy’s first swim!”

I’m very tired. Fortunately, a relaxed type of tired now, but tired nonetheless. The past two or three days have been particularly intense.  For the first time in months, I am feeling really comfortable and safe and at home in the place where I am staying.  After the climax of domestic abuse from my housemateContinue reading “Reveling in my “bro time””