Category Archives: Uncategorized

The intimate, sexual experiences I’ve recently had with my two genderqueer/non-binary/trans friends have brought me some gender affirmation that I hardly thought possible, and have thus opened up the door to the opportunity for deeper healing and broader exploration. However, I need to remind myself that these experiences are like “time bubbles”, due to pop,Continue reading “Time bubbles”

I’ve been wanting to write this post, or about these topics & feelings, for several weeks but I wasn’t ready until now — too much going on, maybe still too much to process. Now that these recents events have become self-contained time bubbles in a more clear way, or maybe more deeply integrated, I canContinue reading “Sleeping with them”

I don’t know how much of this is still the effect of the psychedelic therapy sessions I did with ketamine three weeks ago, but anyway I am still feeling extremely grounded and centered and living in the present like I have hardly ever before.  I have been feeling extremely, wonderfully loved: loved in a supportive,Continue reading “The present moment, and water under the bridge”

Traveling, at an airport again. This used to be one of the most upsetting locations/situations for me with respect to mis-gendering and gender dysphoria (apart from other issues). But not this morning: in the security line, I was directed by the employee who said to me, “This way, sir”!  I still do hate the useContinue reading ““This way, sir””

“  Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees.  “ [Karle Wilson Baker] This weekend, Arys grew taller from standing his ground.  They had felt extremely nervous and anxious and self-conscious about using the men’s changing room at the climbing gym where they used to go regularly when they were living in CaliforniaContinue reading ““Today I have grown taller””

I found this sticker, after my workout, on the bench under/among my belongings in the men’s changing room at the climbing gym where I used to go regularly when I was living in California and where I returned this past Saturday for a visit.  I’m not sure if someone dropped it or forgot it there,Continue reading “Proudly Queer: Climber, Yogi, Athlete”

Since starting this trip on Sunday, I haven’t once been called “ma’am” — not even at the airport! And actually, in the past three days, I’ve been referred to, or addressed, as a (young) man three times, once a day — the latest episode being this afternoon on the street with my photographer friend andContinue reading ““Walk like a man””

I just had another moment of wonderful gender euphoria: I was walking down the street and someone outside a store addressed me, “How are you doing today, sir?” Granted, my face was mostly covered, but apparently my clothes and haircut and clearly flat chest were sufficient to point in the right “gender direction”…!

Earlier today I had one of the loveliest moments of joy coming from gender euphoria.  I was in a beautiful community garden getting ready for my first post-op photoshoot with one of my closest friends who’s an artist and while I was putting sunscreen on my scars, standing around in my masculine climbing pants andContinue reading “Gender euphoria goosebumps”

Two weeks after my KAPT session I am still feeling the beneficial effects of those psychedelic therapeutic journeys, with one of the longest-lasting sensations, still intensely alive & profoundly true within me even now, being a sense of softening and opening up while also feelings stronger, more solid, more grounded.  During my first ketamine journeyContinue reading “This is not my war”