Category Archives: Uncategorized

Happy Singles Awareness Day! “[…] When two people visibly ride the Relationship Escalator together, this fact alone often yields some increase in their security, prestige and comfort. These advantages spring from social couple privilege: the assumption that people who are coupled up are more important, and worthy of greater consideration and reward, than other people.Continue reading “Happy Singles Awareness Day!”

Yesterday I experienced the first extremely tangible example of the world behaving differently towards me now that I have a “different”, or new, body.  About a month ago, I proactively scheduled physical therapy to regain mobility and strength in my shoulders, as suggested after my masculinizing mastectomy. When I called to make the appointment, IContinue reading “Transphobic physical therapist?”

Two weeks after my gender-affirming top-surgery… I think part of what I’m experiencing now might be post-op depression… Ouch. It’s painful. And scary.

It is often said that grief comes in waves.  An acquaintance once put it as, “Grief comes in layers became if it came all at once we wouldn’t be able to bear it”.  Whether it’s layers or waves, it comes and goes and sometimes one level hits harder than the others, deeper than expected. That’sContinue reading “Grief comes in waves, or layers”

This morning, I woke up with the song “Yours & Mine” by Lucy Dacus playing in my head. “I’m afraid of pain Both yours and mine Both yours and mine I’m afraid of pain From where it comes And where it falls Somebody lit the store on fire Somebody lit the house on fire SomebodyContinue reading ““Me & mine””

This morning I’m sad.  This sadness started yesterday evening after spending a couple hours with someone who had been very special to me.  Ten months ago, this person had come to visit me in Colorado, staying with me a whole week a few months after my move from California. This time, they were in townContinue reading “Today’s sadness”

Somehow, this is still “the old me”; and yet, in many ways, I will never be the same again, neither to myself nor to the world around me. Almost two weeks ago, when the unexpected and joyful possibility of having physical intimacy before my masculinizing mastectomy dissipated as the plans with that person crashed, IContinue reading

Nothing could have really prepared me for what I felt when I saw my “new” chest yesterday after the surgeon removed the bolsters from my “new” nipples. The therapy and counseling I’ve been doing; hearing the experiences and seeing the results from other people who got masculinizing mastectomy; the sharing with other non-binary/trans persons; theContinue reading “Pinocchio turning into a real boy”

Recently, I’ve been devouring the book “Polysecure” by Jessica Fern and I would strongly recommend it to everyone, even beyond polyamory or romantic relationships.  I think many of the concepts and tools presented can be helpful for any relationship based on mutual attachment, and for myself I’m finding many parallels with my close, platonic orContinue reading ““Polysecure” in platonic friendships”

“[…] research shows that people who have safe haven relationships in their life, whether through romantic partnership or through their family, are more resilient in the face of life stressors and trauma. Attachment research has looked at many different populations including orphans, people who have experienced natural disasters, assault victims, veterans who were in combat,Continue reading “Healing”