Uncategorized – Page 11 – The Little Prince and the Fox

Hanging heartbreaks

Why does every new heartbreak trigger, or re-open, all of the old ones? I need to learn to get closure and/or repair together with the person(s) involved in the breakup(s) with me. I think this is my biggest mistake, or weakness, when it comes to relationships ending. My anger — that has been a faithfulContinue reading “Hanging heartbreaks”

The nugget of my grief

[Trigger warnings: loss, death of parent, grief, sorrow.] Yesterday afternoon around 5:30, after having spent most of the morning and early afternoon running errands and exercising, I finally sat on the couch to relax with a cup of tea. And then, I started sobbing. And I curled up with my favorite blanket in the cornerContinue reading “The nugget of my grief”

I found the key

[Trigger warnings: loss, grief.] When I was in my late teens & early twenties, I was drawn to young (cis-)men who were in their late twenties to mid-thirties. Then, I went through a long phase where I tried to have normative relationships, the “normativity” also including closeness in age. Since my “liberation” (i.e. my moveContinue reading “I found the key”

My need to be held

The past nights have been rough. No matter how well my day might have gone and how satisfied & tired I might feel when I go to bed, I keep waking up sometime between 2-3 in the morning and cannot fall back asleep for several hours. The rumination and the sadness and the anger areContinue reading “My need to be held”

DOGE or DODGE?

“DOGE” or “DODGE”?!? See: “DOGE makes its latest errors harder to find”: “ Elon Musk’s group obscured the details of some new claims on its website, despite promises of transparency. But The Times was still able to detect another batch of mistakes. Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency has repeatedly posted error-filled data that inflatedContinue reading “DOGE or DODGE?”

Endings

Yesterday evening, I had the last class of a poetry course that I had been taking for the past eight weeks. Yesterday afternoon, I posted that message on the bulletin board of my chorus to voice my difficulties around our current concert, coming out as aro. And yesterday also marked the very end of directContinue reading “Endings”

“I know the value of my property”

“ I keep rifles in the front closet. Trespassing can be a glance. A good shot, I practice with bottles, bull’s eyes. I cross the line where the fence breaks, whereContinue reading ““I know the value of my property””

“… a version of you that I might not have but will not lose”

“ As you promised me that I was more than all the miles combined You must have had yourself a change of heart like Halfway through the drive ‘Cause your voice trailed off exactly as you passed my exit sign You kept on drivin’ straight and left our future to the right Now I amContinue reading ““… a version of you that I might not have but will not lose””

Aromanticism & Amatonormativity: my difficulties with our Spring concert

I’m thinking of writing the following message (as a post in the bulletin board) to my chorus members because the amatonormative assumptions that are being made around the content of our next concert have come to be just too uncomfortable and othering for me. I am aromantic. Coming out as aro is often harder forContinue reading “Aromanticism & Amatonormativity: my difficulties with our Spring concert”