This morning my housemate asked me how tech rehearsal with the chorus went last night and suddenly I found myself in an almost-flow-of-consciousness explanation of the type of overload, or overhead, I feel at rehearsals with the gay men’s chorus in general. Even when the rehearsals go well or are fun from the musical viewpoint,Continue reading “Foreign languages and unknown codes”
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Rephrasing, Reframing, Reclaiming
Maybe I’ve been acting a bit too much the victim in the situation with the gender-expansive gay guy with whom I hooked up. After all, if I led most of the thing and/or took the initiative most of the time, it’s because I wanted to, because I chose to. I started it, I kept itContinue reading “Rephrasing, Reframing, Reclaiming”
“Unmasking Autism”
This afternoon, I finally bought myself a copy of the book Unmasking Autism by Dr. Devon Price. I had borrowed this book from the local library twice already but both times had to return it before even starting to read it. Somehow, I wasn’t ready for it. At this point, I’ve been writing about myContinue reading ““Unmasking Autism””
“A hole is a space you can fill”
“ A hole is a space you can fill — And this one I want to fill with flowers My flowers My blossoms My blossoms in bloom A hole is a space you can fill — And this one I want to fill with light Light from the sunshine Light from the moon Light fromContinue reading ““A hole is a space you can fill””
This hard week ahead
It’s Monday. Not as bad as last week but still hard. And a hard week ahead. Since starting to sing with the gay men’s chorus last September, Mondays have become a day of great emotional upheaval. For nearly two months at the beginning, the emotions were mostly negative, difficult, and painful. Then, they became joyfulContinue reading “This hard week ahead”
Pink Pony Boy
I’m still smiling from pure, intense, almost overwhelming joy. It’s filling me up in such a wonderful, easy way. Last night I went out dancing with one of the guys from the gay men’s chorus. He’s the cis man with whom I had danced Swing at the end of November — my first, wonderful experienceContinue reading “Pink Pony Boy”
“Pink Pony Club”
I absolutely love this song, the melody & rhythm but maybe especially the lyrics: it feels extremely liberating to me, I can relate to it so intensely (e.g. the joy and freedom from my own liberations & self-determination and, sadly, my own bitch of a mother who is determined to not see or recognize meContinue reading ““Pink Pony Club””
I don’t see her anymore
Last night, I saw my bare-chested reflection in the mirror and a thought shot through my head, of its own accord or as if it were someone else’s comment: “That’s a man”. In reality, it was more a feeling than words. But then explicit words out loud followed immediately: “I don’t see her anymore”. BeforeContinue reading “I don’t see her anymore”
“Arrow”
“ You caught me staring off the cliff again And looking down on everyone Wish my goodbyes could be more innocent But every part just wants to run I have this deep, deep feeling in my ribs again I just keep, keep, keep moving on Like the deep, deep current on the riverbed I haveContinue reading ““Arrow””
More attacks on trans rights and academia
White House Plans to Pause $175 Million for Penn Over Transgender Policy The move targets the University of Pennsylvania’s approach to transgender athletes as the Trump administration escalates its clashes with elite colleges. [article from The New York Times]
The Little Prince and the Fox 