adventurerliberated

Healing from the blinding pain

Pain can be blinding. For me, pain often shows up or expresses itself as anger, and anger can easily blind us or make us “see red”. But pain remains blinding for me even once the anger has blown off. As long as the wounds are there, unhealed, I cannot see the full picture, I cannotContinue reading “Healing from the blinding pain”

Father & Son

Yesterday I got the news that, after months of paperwork, emailing, and waiting, my change of sex request has been accepted by the City Hall of the city where I was raised in Europe. The records of that City Hall now say that, a little over four decades ago, a “male” was born with myContinue reading “Father & Son”

Northern Light(s)

I’m back in Colorado, back “at home”. And yet, as I was leaving Alaska on Wednesday night, I cried. Colorado is “home” for me, or as close as “home” can get, I guess. But in Alaska I left a piece of my heart: a big piece of my heart. As my plane landed in ColoradoContinue reading “Northern Light(s)”

Alaska

It’s been wet. Rustic. Cold. Wild. When I was getting ready to come out here a week ago, I was thinking it would be “fast forward into fall”. And sure enough, the first day, Tuesday 09/09, that’s how it felt: like autumn. Like I had been sped up a little, with respect to Colorado, intoContinue reading “Alaska”

Water water everywhere!

I just got back from my first run in the rain in a very long time. When I was living in California, I went on a couple of runs in the drizzle, usually caught in it while I was already in the middle of a workout. But I hadn’t really set out to run inContinue reading “Water water everywhere!”

My first three days in Alaska

It’s been rustic. I’ve been staying at cabins with no running water. The bathroom is an outhouse for peeing & pooping. A pot of water heated on the stove and then used to wash oneself in the shower-tent in a corner of the garden is the shower at my friends’ cabin. No shower option atContinue reading “My first three days in Alaska”

Removing filters: an honest view and another hard lesson

Two weeks ago, after a half-marathon trail race where I wore my “Trans Pride” shorts that have hearts with the trans flag on the butt cheeks, a guy (cis-man) came up to me and said, “I like your shorts, especially the hearts with the trans flag on the butt. I was running behind you forContinue reading “Removing filters: an honest view and another hard lesson”

My own body letting me down

I’m feeling really depressed. The pain in my left hip & groin is worse again, 4-5/10 now. I don’t know if the pain is worse again from this morning’s run or from sitting at my desk or driving: but as much as I can reduce the sitting & driving to the minimum necessary, I cannotContinue reading “My own body letting me down”

South Dakota solo trip — Afterthoughts

I’m back from my solo trip in South Dakota, I got back yesterday late afternoon. I was on edge for the first two thirds of the trip because after about half an hour of driving a whining/whirring sounds started, the pitch getting higher as I sped up, which indicated that it was something rotating, likeContinue reading “South Dakota solo trip — Afterthoughts”

2025, thus far: a year of healing

Summarizing in just a few words my reflections from yesterday on what this year has been, or brought me, so far, I’d say it’s been a year of healing. Starting with the physical and emotional healing from the salpingectomy & uterine ablation that I had in December 2024. Healing from the aborted friendship with benefitsContinue reading “2025, thus far: a year of healing”