Summarizing in just a few words my reflections from yesterday on what this year has been, or brought me, so far, I’d say it’s been a year of healing.
Starting with the physical and emotional healing from the salpingectomy & uterine ablation that I had in December 2024. Healing from the aborted friendship with benefits that didn’t work out with the gender-expansive gay guy with whom I hooked up a couple times and from other disappointments related to the chorus. Recovering from my burnout. Settling in to my new place and, at least partly, feeling more “at home”. Allowing myself to rest and relax more, especially when I had concerning health issues. Traveling and exploring. Tending to my close friendships, leaning into & opening up more to those relationships, thus allowing more closeness, more intimacy of a safe & comfortable kind that is truly healing.
Whether I was aware of it or not, I have been dedicating this year to self-care. I hadn’t fully realized it until these past couple days.
I have been allowing myself to heal and I can feel its positive effects on me. Not only on my body, but also on my mind, on my heart, on my soul. I’m overall more relaxed, I’m not having real meltdowns anymore and I’m less often feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated. But also, I can feel something opening up inside of me: memories from the past come to me more often and in a less painful way.
It’s as if windows have opened in my soul, allowing both the past to come back to me and the future to be somewhat visible, or possible for me to glimpse.
Maybe this is all I should expect of this year: a year of healing. No more, and no less.
The Little Prince and the Fox 