A few days ago, one of my closets friends here in Colorado said to me that I “have a gift for friendship”.
That’s one of the highest compliments I could be given, one of the loveliest things I could be told. And I’m not sure I deserve such a compliment.
More simply, I would say that I “have a need for friendship” and “have (received & given) the gift of friendship”.
As I’ve often mentioned, friendship is the only mutual/reciprocal way I know to get really close and intimate to other people. I can get close as a mentor or mentee — but that isn’t a peer relationship. I can get close in certain communities where one can share special/vulnerable experiences and/or empathy and/or camaraderie — but that tends to be circumstantial. When it comes to deep intimacy, for me friendship is the only key. Or it’s the key that I use, adapting it to each different case, person, relationship.
This birthday has been the best one I’ve had in years. And it’s been so because I’ve been surrounded by friends and showered by love, community, and friendship.
Maybe what my friend meant the other day when he said that I “have a gift for friendship” is that, although I’ve messed up with friends more than once and let people down sometimes, I do put a lot of energy, intention, effort, and care in relationships and I show up authentically (which is sometimes precisely the cause for my messing up!).
And maybe it’s also that “simply being my quirky self” that made it so that many different people showed up for me to celebrate my birthday with me in a variety of ways over the course of the past ten days.
I have definitely been receiving an abundant gift of friendship lately.
The Little Prince and the Fox 