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But also, I am leaving here because I have the wonderful opportunity to spend a few months in a beautiful place that I love, living rent-free with friends (instead of alone and feeling lonely as I do here) while also having plenty of space & time for myself.  That’s hard to beat!  So as scaryContinue reading “…but also…”

Why am I leaving here?  This question has been popping into my mind quite often in the past few days.  The nice, sunny & mild weather, the gorgeous sunsets over the ocean and the walks at the beach; the ocean in the full moon — and being able to enjoy most of these with friendsContinue reading “Why am I leaving?”

There’s a song by Bruce Springsteen called “The long goodbye”. This is one of the few songs whose lyrics I don’t know — I cannot even remember the topic of it. But I can hear the music in my head and the title resonates with my feelings in this moment.  This is maybe the hardestContinue reading ““The long goodbye””

Sunset. For the remainder of today I’m going to relax and celebrate in a quiet, cozy way.  So much has happened in the past two or three weeks. Several intense and extremely painful incidents that reopened old wounds and/or triggered trauma. But in the end also — and probably especially — positive outcomes. Several importantContinue reading “Afraid of being happy?”

This morning, my friend’s image of “sproutiness” is more vivid and appropriate than ever. And what makes it even lovelier is that today it’s connected not only to myself but also to this person I’ve been getting close with in the past five months or so: the non-binary climbing buddy who’s become a very dearContinue reading “… this is how…!”

Sold the cupboard a couple days ago. Started packing boxes yesterday. So liberating!  Just sold my bicycle this morning — bittersweet feelings for that…  My swimmer/artist friend said they sense a “sproutiness” in me at the moment, like I’m “a seed starting to grow sprouts” — I love this image and believe it captures myContinue reading “Hope: Change on the horizon”

OK, I’m done.  This is not simply a “New Year’s resolution”, it’s a “New Life resolution”, very appropriately coming when I’m getting ready to move out of California and try Colorado.  A few good friends of mine have more than once told me, “You’re awesome”, “You’re a super cool person”, “You are a diamond andContinue reading “New Life resolution”

“[…] work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do” [“The adventures of Tom Sawyer” by Mark Twain] I believe there’s great truth in this statement — at least, it often feels like that to me.   Play, or fun, particularly shared fun/play,Continue reading “The lost fun”

For the first time in a long while, this morning I recognized the person in my bed. I finally felt like my good old self again: that person who wakes up feeling happy and hopeful, looking forward to the day ahead of them, no matter what negative thoughts they might have had the previous night;Continue reading “Good morning!”

Yesterday’s NPR “All things considered” edition seemed a little more varied that the usual deluge of “bad/negative news”, so I’m going to share some of the news-clips that gave me some hope and/or diversion last night. Let’s talk about abortion… really!  https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/12/17/1058106595/a-new-way-to-talk-about-abortion-in-maine-using-deep-conversation-to-reach-voter Amid the seemingly apocalyptic news on COVID, two positive, hopeful reports:  1) EquityContinue reading “Interesting news-clips from Jan. 4th”