Category Archives: Uncategorized

I feel like I’m being given a second chance.  A second chance to try my luck (or skills) at doing research in academia, of testing and even healing my relationship with science. This time around I’m a very different person. Not only a dozen years older. In many ways, I’m actually younger, or more youthful.Continue reading “Second (or maybe third) chance?”

Two months ago I had just arrived at my new, temporary home, after a four-day road trip, making it here just in time before a snow-storm. At this time two months ago, I was enjoying my first morning here, cozily indoors as the snow fell abundantly all around me, looking forward to the piles ofContinue reading “Two months: from snow-storms to wildfires”

Over the past few days, I’ve heard this question asked more than once, albeit in different ways. It’s Trans Awareness Week and I’ve been participating in the events that are being locally organized (which is a wonderful and totally new experience to me in itself!). Last night I went to one of the first events:Continue reading “Is non-binary just an aesthetic?”

The mountains on the horizon, there in the West, are particularly beautiful this morning: the sky is heavy with grey (rain?) clouds everywhere except for right over the mountains, which are all covered in white from yesterday’s snowfall and now gleaming in the sunshine, in those rays of light that seem to be there justContinue reading “The body I want?”

In the past week or two, as spring hasn’t been just knocking on winter’s door but actually shoving it open, I’ve found myself yearning for a little more winter – not only the astronomical or meteorological winter, but also the emotional “wintering”: a little more quiet, a little more stillness, a little more coziness insideContinue reading “Pause”

On my hike/climb yesterday I injured my ankle pretty badly. And yet, over the past couple weeks, for me the feeling has crystalized that I am, in general, really finding my footing here. I’ve decided I’m going to stay here. I’m going to do everything it takes to allow me to stay and grow andContinue reading “Finding my footing”

Early this morning, I did my first free solo ever! At least in climbing – in life, I guess I’ve been “free solo-ing” for a while now…   A few days ago, when I went for the first time to a school here where I’m collaborating part-time, I met one of the PhD students andContinue reading “Free solo”

It’s a fine line between solitude and loneliness. And for me that line is often determined by tiredness — physical as well as mental.  Tonight I’m tired. The physical effort of climbing outdoors in very cold weather on top of the mental/emotional effort of meeting and socializing with new people and finding my way inContinue reading “The fine line between solitude and loneliness”

The sun shone fiercely into my room this morning, pouring through the East-facing windows.  Or so it seemed to me, after two mornings of muffled whiteness from the snowfall of the past couple days.  I love listening to what my body needs, almost with the unselfconsciousness of some other animal, like the cat I’m lookingContinue reading “The body knows”

On my road trip driving over from California to Colorado six weeks ago, one of the CDs I listened to the most was an old album of Meredith Brooks, “Deconstruction”. One of my favorite songs from this album is “Sin City” and I still listen to it very often, sometimes on repeat. I really likeContinue reading ““Flower of peace””