Category Archives: Uncategorized

The sun shone fiercely into my room this morning, pouring through the East-facing windows.  Or so it seemed to me, after two mornings of muffled whiteness from the snowfall of the past couple days.  I love listening to what my body needs, almost with the unselfconsciousness of some other animal, like the cat I’m lookingContinue reading “The body knows”

On my road trip driving over from California to Colorado six weeks ago, one of the CDs I listened to the most was an old album of Meredith Brooks, “Deconstruction”. One of my favorite songs from this album is “Sin City” and I still listen to it very often, sometimes on repeat. I really likeContinue reading ““Flower of peace””

I just got home from my post-lunch walk in the fields near my host family’s house.  The weather has gotten cold again, dropping almost 30 degrees (Fahrenheit) overnight. The sky is heavy with grey-white clouds and the Rockies, which are usually visible from here, are hidden behind the snow already rolling in.  The fields wereContinue reading “Healing and peace “in between””

For the past few weeks I’ve been struggling with a sense of being in a limbo. The expression “holding the uncertainty” has come to my mind so often… Uncertainty, feeling “in-between”, neither really here nor there: uncertain of what I want to do professionally, of what I even want to do as of next summerContinue reading “Holding the (un)certainty”

Last night I went to bed feeling miserable: profoundly sad and lonely. Granted, it’s partly due to the hormonal issue that sent me to the hospital last week and is hopefully temporary. But it is a fact that it took less of a month from my departure for my friends in California to forget me.Continue reading “How small things can make a big difference”

Today, it’s exactly one month that I’ve been here in my temporary home in Colorado!  In this first month here I’ve already:  – written two chapters of my textbook;  – sent in one of those chapters to my editors for review;  – been to my local climbing gym;  – met a few climbing buddies forContinue reading “Balance of my first month here”

[I cannot write about this horrible war Putin is waging on the Ukraine, for now, because it’s too painful for me.] “What Sarah Said” [Death Cab for Cutie, “Plans” album] “And it came to me then That every plan Is a tiny prayer to father time As I stared at my shoes In the ICUContinue reading ““Love is watching someone die””

I’m finding it difficult to find an overall, stable balance.  Despite feeling much better, lighter than I had in a long time in California, I’m still swinging between different, and often intense, emotions.  There are a lot of moments of loneliness. Despite living with my host family. Despite my need and desire for solitude. ItContinue reading “Swinging”