Category Archives: Uncategorized

I just got home from my post-lunch walk in the fields near my host family’s house.  The weather has gotten cold again, dropping almost 30 degrees (Fahrenheit) overnight. The sky is heavy with grey-white clouds and the Rockies, which are usually visible from here, are hidden behind the snow already rolling in.  The fields wereContinue reading “Healing and peace “in between””

For the past few weeks I’ve been struggling with a sense of being in a limbo. The expression “holding the uncertainty” has come to my mind so often… Uncertainty, feeling “in-between”, neither really here nor there: uncertain of what I want to do professionally, of what I even want to do as of next summerContinue reading “Holding the (un)certainty”

Last night I went to bed feeling miserable: profoundly sad and lonely. Granted, it’s partly due to the hormonal issue that sent me to the hospital last week and is hopefully temporary. But it is a fact that it took less of a month from my departure for my friends in California to forget me.Continue reading “How small things can make a big difference”

Today, it’s exactly one month that I’ve been here in my temporary home in Colorado!  In this first month here I’ve already:  – written two chapters of my textbook;  – sent in one of those chapters to my editors for review;  – been to my local climbing gym;  – met a few climbing buddies forContinue reading “Balance of my first month here”

[I cannot write about this horrible war Putin is waging on the Ukraine, for now, because it’s too painful for me.] “What Sarah Said” [Death Cab for Cutie, “Plans” album] “And it came to me then That every plan Is a tiny prayer to father time As I stared at my shoes In the ICUContinue reading ““Love is watching someone die””

I’m finding it difficult to find an overall, stable balance.  Despite feeling much better, lighter than I had in a long time in California, I’m still swinging between different, and often intense, emotions.  There are a lot of moments of loneliness. Despite living with my host family. Despite my need and desire for solitude. ItContinue reading “Swinging”

At 5am I woke up to pee, as I often do in the wee hours of the night or early morning. But this time, I didn’t go straight back to bed, despite my tiredness. The moon was full last night. And we had just had an abundant snow fall throughout the afternoon and evening. IContinue reading “Promises”

It’s snowing again — technically, we’re in for another snow storm until tomorrow morning. I made it to the climbing gym and back just before it started today.  I actually like this alternating, varied winter weather. Snow storms last only a couple days, blanketing everything in a soft layer of white. The temperatures drop belowContinue reading “Snow again”

Cat therapy is REAL — at least, for me it is!  My host family has an adorable cat, Gaia.  When I first met them, almost six years ago, they also had Gaia’s brother Helios, and during the Christmas holidays of 2016-2017, I took care of their house and both their cats for a couple weeks.Continue reading “Cat therapy”