Category Archives: Uncategorized

“Feel it. The thing that you don’t want to feel. Feel it. And be free.” [Nayyirah Waheed] That’s from the guided meditation I did this morning. And it’s really what I needed to hear today. So I will feel it – or, at least, acknowledge it, and then get on with my day of work.Continue reading ““Feel it. And be free.””

Some days I wake up with a distinct song playing in my head and a strong desire to listen to it. This morning, it’s this one: “Short change hero” by The Heavy.

I feel like one feels at mile 12 of a half-marathon: one has run 12 miles and has only 1.1 miles to go, and yet that last 1.1-mile stretch often feels like the hardest. The half-marathon I’ve been running in the past six months has definitely been a trail race, one in the mountains withContinue reading “Melting into Nature”

One of my closest friends got their first tattoo just a couple days ago and yesterday was telling me how they were still riding the wave, enjoying the high, from the euphoric feeling of having gotten this tattoo (which is really beautiful, by the way!). I could relate to them very well, as I alsoContinue reading “Riding the waves”

Here it is: a wave of grief. A mixture of sadness and fear.  The leitmotif of the past six months has involved change, letting go, transition, holding the uncertainty, limbos. And also beautiful growth, discovery, opportunities to come into myself more fully and live more authentically.  But in the past few weeks these limbos haveContinue reading “I wish I could shout it out”

I’m still reeling from the beautiful intensity of the past two days with my European climbing buddy visiting.  The timing of his visit was a godsend.  The pain and sadness from my very recent heartbreak might come back — they probably will as grief comes in waves; and if/when it happens, I’ll hold that griefContinue reading “Wonderful reminder”

One of my new climbing buddies is visiting me for a couple days for a project that is basically a mutual, and fun, favor.  He’s from the part of Europe that is half of my own heritage, which is one of the many reasons we connected so easily and spontaneously (albeit only recently).  It’s niceContinue reading “Multiple identities”

Six months ago one of my closest friends gave me the book “The body keeps the score”, which has been on my reading list for a couple years now. I haven’t gotten around to reading it, yet, but I look forward to it — and maybe then I’ll finally understand why, whenever I experience aContinue reading “How does the body keep the score?”

When I let the deep friendship with my non-binary friend & climbing/adventure buddy acquire a romantic&sexual aspect to it, in April, letting it happen out of spontaneous mutual consent and just the feeling of the moment, without discussing its possible consequences, I made a mistake.  I assumed it would be okay because in the momentContinue reading “I made a(nother) mistake”

For the past day and a half I’ve been feeling extremely sad. The cause lay in a message from a person that I love very deeply.  This message is very thoughtful, mature, respectful and loving. There is no doubt from this message as well as other interactions with this person that they love me deeply,Continue reading “Assumptions: Shields & Daggers”