Category Archives: Uncategorized

Two news clips from last night that I found really troubling, upsetting, concerning, and even quite infuriating:  https://www.npr.org/2023/03/15/1163670457/abortion-pill-kacsmaryk-mifepristone-texas https://www.npr.org/2023/03/15/1163733442/wellesley-students-vote-for-the-school-to-accept-trans-and-nonbinary-applicants

It’s amazing how much the ability to be active in my body again has brought me back to life in the past two days.  I had had glimpses of this wonderful feeling again with the visit of one climbing buddy who took us to explore a National Park three weeks after my surgery and thenContinue reading “Back in my body, Back to life”

It’s hard to put into words the joy I am feeling in this moment. I’m almost besides myself with joy.  The boy is running!  I’m a trans athlete!  The boy is running, I’m a trans athlete, and I’m ready to let the body-hair come!  Today I went for my first post-op run: my first runContinue reading “Let the body-hair come!”

There are several verses of the song “I am woman (hear me roar)” that I relate to deeply, and the title/refrain has often resonated with me, albeit it changing it slightly, sometimes.  Sometimes, due to my upbringing & past experiences, I’ve resonated with the original, “I am woman, Hear me roar”.  At other times, I’veContinue reading ““I am me, Hear me roar!””

[Trigger warning: depression] I’m in a very dark spot again.  This is probably another bout of post-op depression and I’m really struggling.  Physically struggling with exhaustion and these stress headaches I tend to get in my left temple with a searing pain (migraines?).  But especially struggling mentally and emotionally, which is also causing most ofContinue reading “Dark spot”

This afternoon, exactly one month after my gender-affirming top-surgery, I went on my first post-op hike: a real, 4.5-mile hike with almost 500 feet elevation gain (after a 2.5-mile walk).  One of my closest climbing buddies took me on the hike — or, rather, he drove us to the trailhead and I took us onContinue reading “Thank you, buddy!”

Today’s exactly one month since getting my gender-affirming top-surgery.  I don’t regret it. I’ve never felt so well and aligned with/in my own body and this is wonderful.  But today I am feeling sad and afraid.  Sad for all that I’ve had to leave behind me and already lost; afraid of what I still mightContinue reading “One month later: sad and afraid”

I used to have a particularly pretty mole on my right breast, visible also in the portraits I got taken of me before my top-surgery.  Until the other day I hadn’t paid attention to this detail. I noticed it again after seeing my pre-surgery nude portraits and my “new” chest as the scars (especially aroundContinue reading “The shifting mole”

This afternoon I showed my “new” chest in person to a friend (a non-medical person) for the first time.  With one of my closest (cis-male) climbing buddies I am working on a project about non-binary/transgender athletes and he came to visit me today to continue some work on this project. We hadn’t seen each otherContinue reading “Taking my shirt off”

It’s hard to put into words how hard this phase is. It might be the hardest experience since my horrible COVID illness in the spring of 2020 (& long COVID throughout 2020).  Today is exactly three weeks since I got my masculinizing mastectomy — at this time three weeks ago I was getting my chestContinue reading “The dark antechamber”