Category Archives: Uncategorized

Traveling, at an airport again. This used to be one of the most upsetting locations/situations for me with respect to mis-gendering and gender dysphoria (apart from other issues). But not this morning: in the security line, I was directed by the employee who said to me, “This way, sir”!  I still do hate the useContinue reading ““This way, sir””

“  Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees.  “ [Karle Wilson Baker] This weekend, Arys grew taller from standing his ground.  They had felt extremely nervous and anxious and self-conscious about using the men’s changing room at the climbing gym where they used to go regularly when they were living in CaliforniaContinue reading ““Today I have grown taller””

I found this sticker, after my workout, on the bench under/among my belongings in the men’s changing room at the climbing gym where I used to go regularly when I was living in California and where I returned this past Saturday for a visit.  I’m not sure if someone dropped it or forgot it there,Continue reading “Proudly Queer: Climber, Yogi, Athlete”

Since starting this trip on Sunday, I haven’t once been called “ma’am” — not even at the airport! And actually, in the past three days, I’ve been referred to, or addressed, as a (young) man three times, once a day — the latest episode being this afternoon on the street with my photographer friend andContinue reading ““Walk like a man””

I just had another moment of wonderful gender euphoria: I was walking down the street and someone outside a store addressed me, “How are you doing today, sir?” Granted, my face was mostly covered, but apparently my clothes and haircut and clearly flat chest were sufficient to point in the right “gender direction”…!

Earlier today I had one of the loveliest moments of joy coming from gender euphoria.  I was in a beautiful community garden getting ready for my first post-op photoshoot with one of my closest friends who’s an artist and while I was putting sunscreen on my scars, standing around in my masculine climbing pants andContinue reading “Gender euphoria goosebumps”

Two weeks after my KAPT session I am still feeling the beneficial effects of those psychedelic therapeutic journeys, with one of the longest-lasting sensations, still intensely alive & profoundly true within me even now, being a sense of softening and opening up while also feelings stronger, more solid, more grounded.  During my first ketamine journeyContinue reading “This is not my war”

It’s 3:30 in the morning and I’ve been awake for over an hour. I woke up to pee, as often happens during the night, but then I haven’t been able to get back to sleep despite my tiredness and the guided meditation to help me relax.  The feelings from my KAPT sessions are still lingering,Continue reading “There’s so much love — it’s overwhelming”

Sometimes you get an email that makes your day.  That just happened to me now.  This upcoming Saturday there will be a charitable 5K run in my neighborhood: I saw it posted in the Open Space where I often go for my walks or runs and decided to try and participate — as a non-binaryContinue reading “Go You, non-binary runners!”

For a while now, when I think of myself as an animal other than human, I’ve been feeling like a Big Cat, specifically, a combination of a lion (male, the one with the mane), a mountain lion or cougar (maybe female), and a cheetah.  Yesterday, I discovered that I am a peacock — also aContinue reading “The Lion & the Peacock”