Category Archives: Uncategorized

Coming up on the one-year anniversary of their gender-affirming top-surgery, coming up on the 1-year mark of event that probably means the most to him in his life — at least, that’s how it feels now. More important than their biological birthday even, and more important (probably because more conclusive/concluded or definitive) than their legalContinue reading “So much change…!”

Is Spring here already?  Something has shifted for me, something major. Something happened ten days ago, initiating a change, an opening up, a “turning of the page”, a looking ahead & moving forward for me that I hadn’t felt in months.  I feel that all of a sudden I’m able to really experience joy, toContinue reading “The door to joy (& fear)”

About once a week I run with a neighbor who’s also a friend now and himself a runner (who runs almost every single day). Among other things, we share the passion for running and the need for it. Now we’re preparing for the same race, training sort of in parallel, and today we’ll be goingContinue reading “Run from / Move towards”

Today’s my eighth “anniversary of liberation”, i.e. eight years since I moved from Europe to California.  And yesterday, for the first time, I used a big spade and dug in the ground. Fortunately, it wasn’t frozen as the temperatures & snowfalls of the past week could have made it — or I was able toContinue reading “Burial and Liberation”

I’m not sure whether it’s the new year’s energy or the new moon energy finally coming upon/into me a week or two late, or whether it’s the positive effects of going out dancing again at last with a friend on Saturday night. Something has shifted for me, and has shifted positively, with a new openingContinue reading “New energy”

I now officially sing bass. Or maybe baritone, but still on the males’ deeper voice spectrum.  My voice has been gradually dropping for over a year and a half with some discontinuous, almost sudden, changes, like bumps downwards every now and then. For months I have been aware of how deep my voice is whenContinue reading “I now officially sing bass!”

Last night I went out dancing. I went out dancing again at last.  There’s a live music & dancing venue in the town where I live where a band was playing songs by The Eagles last night and since one of my neighbors & I both really like The Eagles and had been trying toContinue reading “Pure, untainted joy again at last!”

“ This is how it is with love.  Once invited, it steps in gently,  circles twice,  and takes up as much space as you will give it.  “ [Joyce Sidman] The love I got again for a couple months last spring & summer was of a type that I hadn’t had for a long time,Continue reading ““This is how it is with love””

Grief is hitting me like a truck. Or maybe like a tsunami — because a simple wave I could ride, or swim through, or sail over.  It woke me up early this morning, maybe around 3 or 4 am. I’m not sure, I didn’t look at the time, I just let myself feel. I letContinue reading “Grief is hitting me like a truck”

[Trigger warning: vivid dream of a car crash with some injuries but no casualties; darkness.] A couple weeks ago my French climbing buddy left me a very sweet voicemail to say Hi and explain his recent silence — and he said, literally, “Sorry, dude, but life has been hitting me like a truck”.  Apart fromContinue reading ““Life is hitting me like a truck””