Category Archives: Uncategorized

Today I feel that I’ve been made whole.  I think this was sparked by listening to the poem by Dean Atta, “Some men have vaginas”, last night.  Throughout the night, in the sparse moments of lighter sleep, the phrase “some men have vaginas” kept coming back to me, to my mind, to my heart, toContinue reading ““Jagged Tao””

“ He said he was a gay man with a vagina and I, penis heavy and light of foot, wondered if gay meant the same to him as it did to me, wondered if man was in mind or body. Because I wear my man,  strip down bare to my man.  In the mirror, there,Continue reading ““Some men have vaginas””

[Spoiler alert: some details about the movie “Moonlight”.] Last night I finally watched the movie “Moonlight”.  I think it’s one of the most beautiful films I’ve seen. It presents profound coming-of-age themes made more complicated by male homosexuality in the marginalized black community. There are many instances and explicit scenes of bullying but the violenceContinue reading “Moonlight manhood”

[Trigger warnings: loss, death, grief.] It can often be useful to have a brain that literally works like a calendar.  And it can be very powerful and even wonderful to have such an innate connection to seasons, dates, recurrences, such a natural or instinctive sense for anniversaries and celebrations as I do.  But it’s aContinue reading “Springtime grief”

Today’s one year & two months after my gender-affirming top-surgery and exactly a week from the anniversary of my first, long-awaited & liberating, fully bare-chested climb outdoors after surgery.  Today’s also the day my mentee defended his M.S. thesis after having worked under my (& my advisor’s) supervision for almost two years.  Of course, IContinue reading “Non-binary genderqueer: Hell Yeah!”

[Trigger warnings: mentions of transphobia, homophobia, misogyny and ensuing, potential, harassment.] I am non-binary. I am genderqueer. I am trans: a trans-guy but with the part “trans” being particularly important to me. There’s a boy in me but there’s also a girl — and so much more — so much in between and so muchContinue reading “Losing my gender”

I stumbled upon the song “Gloria” by the band The Trials of Cato by chance in one of my Spotify playlists that I listen to while running. And as soon as I caught the lyrics, this song found a deep & warm place in my heart. I’d like to share this song with all thoseContinue reading ““Gloria”: a hymn to gender-nonconformity”

I’m feeling tired and delicate and fragile.  I feel a desperate need to relax, to let go completely, almost melt, but unable to do so. I can never fully let go. Never ever.  I’m not even able to get restful sleep. I’ve been having recurring dreams with looming dangers and threats in them for severalContinue reading “Scary threats in my dreams”

My climbing buddy brought up this favorite phrase of his (again) on the weekend of my double anniversary celebration at the end of January. I think he meant it in an uplifting way when he said it as we stood around chatting after having gone out dancing at the queer club.  I’ve been thinking aContinue reading ““Life is made of moments””

I discovered the term, or acronym, “MSM” in the book “Erotically Queer” edited by Silva Neves & Dominic Davies.  “MSM” stands for “Men who have Sex with Men”.  It was coined with the intention of making it as comprehensive and inclusive — and as such, hopefully, less stigmatizing — as possible. It is meant toContinue reading “MSM”