Boiled peanuts

[Trigger warnings: death; grief]

“Is there anything you’d like to say?”, Maya, Ron’s fiancé, asks him, as the five of us are sitting around the tiny dinner table, ready to tuck into the food. 

Ron’s eyes get watery, for a moment he seems at a loss for words. “Andrew used to like to have people over to eat, all together… that’s all… so thank you all for being here tonight”, he manages to say.  

For us, it’s an honor, albeit a sad one, to be here.

Every week, I try and have at least one full day completely to myself, off my phone, not driving anywhere. This week, it was supposed to be today. But given the circumstances, this afternoon I checked my phone just to see if Ron has tried to get in touch. And sure enough, there it was: a missed call from him from a couple hours earlier. I dial his number immediately but it goes to voicemail — he’s probably in class. So I leave him a message: “I’m busy until 5:30 this evening, then completely free after that time. Call or text me for anything.” 

As soon as I’m done with my work day, at 5:30pm I check for messages from Ron: “We’re having veggies and meat. Is veggie burger OK for you instead of the meat? Two other people are coming, Laura and another climbing buddy. You can come over any time after 6:30.” 

So there goes my “no-driving day”! But I had been expecting it today, preparing for this all day. So I reply to Ron that I’ll bring dessert, as usual, and I get myself ready to go and give him support — in whatever form he may need it. 

When I get there, Maya is cooking so I offer to help her, as usual. This evening, though, she declines, so I join Ron and his other climbing buddy (whom I didn’t know before) and his friend Laura from skiing. Laura is her usual loud, bubbly self, and jokes with me about not having brought her two huge golden retrievers who, last time, were all over me. Brad & I exchange a few comments about climbing, of course. Finally, Ron is done with a huge pot of something brewing in the kitchen and brings out a bowl full of dark brown, soggy-looking peanuts in their shells floating in brownish liquid. It doesn’t look appealing in the least but he’s our friend, we trust him, he wouldn’t poison us, would he? And anyway, tonight we’re all here for him, to support him in this difficult moment. 

“Boiled peanuts!” Ron exclaims and then starts explaining to us the best techniques to eat them, the technique Andrew used to employ, the one Ron prefers. Neither seems to work great, really, but the boiled peanuts turn out to be very tasty, if somewhat messy to eat. 

“Andrew used to say that each peanut would help diffuse the hangover for a few minutes and you’d think you were fine, until then you felt hung over all over again and needed another peanut”. 

“So how many peanuts do you need to eat to get wholly over your hang over?” I ask Ron. “Oh, all you can do really is sleep it off!”, he replies and we finish off this uncommon, but surprisingly yummy, appetizer. 

The evening rolls on, through dinner and a board game where we all get frustrated in hilarious ways, a riot, cursing and laughing our heads off. Living. 

Life as usual. 

Commemorating the dead by celebrating life.