This has been one of my best birthdays ever. 

Four days before my birthday, I won a race, effectively running my fastest half marathon on trail, shaving off 7 minutes from the time my coach had projected for me. And four days after my birthday, I won my first (recreational) climbing competition. But, more importantly, at both events I was able to compete & be awarded fairly and be proudly visible as my trans, nonbinary self, advocating for other trans/nonbinary athletes, too. 

Over the course of a week, “my birthday week”, I had a wonderful “new adventure”: my trip to Chicago, including the long train ride, connecting with interesting people on the train, going for a run along the lake shore, finding a couple of spots in Chicago that started feeling familiar or like “my own”, having explorative sex with a non-queer friend, getting my gender validated both in human interactions and legally on my Italian passport. And I was supported and celebrated by wonderful, loving friends all around: the trusted friends here in Colorado & in Europe who were on the lookout for me during my trip to Chicago, should any problems arise; my buddy who joined me in Chicago to celebrate on my birthday night; the friends who, despite being geographically distant, are nonetheless steadily present for me; the close friends who came to my birthday party potluck this weekend, cooking for me, DJ-ing, bringing candles for my birthday cake, and generally putting up with all my quirks. 

All of this brought me profound, immense joy and I can still feel the warmth in my heart. 

And what brought & brings me even more joy was to see how well my friends got along with each other at my birthday potluck even though most of them didn’t know each other. Several of them texted me after the party saying explicitly things like “I had a really great time and you have very nice friends”! 

Yes, I do have very nice friends. I am blessed with wonderful friends. 

One of my friends in his birthday card to me wrote, “Your steadfast friendship is a blessing to me” — well, I feel the same about his friendship to me, all their friendships to me. 

Another friend in their card wrote me, “…you’re a stellar friend and such a caring human” — this coming from the most caring person & loving friend I know. 

I won’t change the general, pervasive normativity of relationships and the overall oppression this generates. I won’t be able to change the transphobic laws this fascist government is unrolling. I cannot magically allow trans athletes to be recognized throughout the country. I cannot change the minds of all obtuse people who think queer is “wrong” or “sick”. But I can create small bubbles of profound, caring, supportive relationships and networks based on platonic friendship that function differently from the norms we’re taught. I can show up visibly, loud & proud, and advocate for myself and other trans/nonbinary athletes at some trial-running and climbing events. I can be my own authentic self, more or less visibly queer as much as I feel like it. 

I cannot change the whole world or fight all the battles but maybe I am doing something of value. And if so, it’s also thanks to the support from my wonderful friends.