Category Archives: Uncategorized

Tonight I took myself out on a date.  Just a few days ago, I discovered that one of the cafes in town has live music on Thursday nights. So this evening, despite the freezing temperatures, I decided to take myself out and go check it out. I was anxious and doubtful because I’m still feelingContinue reading “Coming to Life in Winter”

How can it be that people still keep misgendering me so much, so often???  It’s gotten worse lately — or, at least, that’s how it feels to me. Probably it feels worse to me, on the one hand, because I’m feeling more and more masculine, more and more like a boy and therefore having peopleContinue reading “How can it be?”

Oh, the memories brought back by this song [“Hot & Heavy” by Lucy Dacus]…  Being back here makes me hot in the face Hot blood in my pulsing veins Heavy memories weighing on my brain Hot and heavy in the basement of your parents’ place You used to be so sweet Now you’re a firecrackerContinue reading ““Hot & Heavy””

[Trigger warning: trauma (re)surfacing] I’m feeling very lonely and scared. Terrified, actually. Terrified by what might be surfacing to my conscious mind, terrified of what I actually feel pushing, pressing onto my conscious brain. I can feel it pushing almost physically. It’s there, something terrible and dark, something pushing to come up from some unfathomable,Continue reading “Dark shadows”

If only people would learn to do their own small share in collective responsibility and just wear a mask…!!! (And if only the CDC were more responsible…!!!) https://www.npr.org/2022/12/07/1141372567/cdc-director-rochelle-walensky-advises-on-the-tripledemic

[Trigger warnings: explicit language about genitalia, sexual intercourse, and gynecological visit/examination.] I’m a boy. A boy with female genitals but a boy nonetheless.  Today I had a weird but probably the best ever gynecological medical experience. It was my first gynecological visit in a couple years and the first one since starting my “trans-journey” explicitly. Continue reading “Weird yet wonderful doctor’s visit”

Last night I had a very vivid dream: a stranger (getting on a bus or into an elevator with me) asked me kindly, “Are you male or female? I cannot tell from your voice…”. Their question elated me: it felt like the best thing possible I could get from a stranger, i.e. their not knowingContinue reading “Identities lost and found”

Yesterday evening I had the double bliss of my housemate (who makes me feel so uncomfortable) being out, away for an overnight trip, and one of my best friends here in Colorado coming to visit me.  For several years I had the fortune to live with good friends, i.e. to have some of my closestContinue reading “Double bliss — and food for thought”