Category Archives: Uncategorized

Thank you, Universe,  that I’m feeling better than a week ago  and that I don’t have to spend my first Thanksgiving here in Colorado all alone.  Thanks that there are actually people — friends — who’ll welcome me into their homes here,  as there were in California and have been so many other times, inContinue reading “Thanksgiving”

‘Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves… Live the questions now. Perhaps you will gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.’  [from “Letters to a Young Poet” by Rainer Maria Rilke] 

[Trigger warning: somatization of trauma] From Chapter 6 of the book “The body keeps the score” by Bessel a. van der Kolk, M.D.: ‘ […] Over the yers our research team has repeatedly found that chronic emotional abuse and neglect can be just as devastating as physical abuse and sexual molestation. […] Not being seen, notContinue reading ““Losing Your Body, Losing Your Self”“

From the song “Pillar of Truth” by Lucy Dacus: “ […]  I am weak looking at you A pillar of truth Turning to dust I am weak looking at you A pillar of truth Turning to dust Lord, prepare me For the shadows For the sparrows At my window Lord, have mercy On my descendantsContinue reading ““Pillar of Truth””

[Trigger warning: Trauma] ‘[…] If an organism is stuck in survival mode, its energies are focused on fighting off unseen enemies, which leaves no room for nurture, care, and love. For us humans, it means that as long as the mind is defending itself against invisible assaults, our closest bonds are threatened, along with ourContinue reading ““The body keeps the score” — 3“

[Trigger warnings: (gun) violence; discrimination] Yesterday, as every 20th of November, was the “Transgender Day of Remembrance”. And a particularly sad one this year, given the mass shooting in a nightclub frequented by many people of the LGBTQ community in Colorado Springs and continuous attacks to transgender rights at the political level.

[Trigger warning: Trauma] ‘Trauma results in a fundamental reorganization of the way mind and brain manage perceptions. It changes not only how we think and what we think about, but also our very capacity to think. We have discovered that helping victims of trauma find the words to describe what has happened to them isContinue reading ““The body keeps the score” — 2“

[Trigger warning: Trauma] ‘Semrad taught us that most human suffering is related to love and loss and that the job of therapists is to help people “acknowledge, experience, and bear” the reality of life — with all its pleasures and heartbreak.’ [From Chapter 2 of the book “The body keeps the score” by Bessel a.Continue reading ““The body keeps the score” — 1″

Sometimes you just wake up and can’t get back to sleep, no matter how early in the morning. You wake up, suddenly knowing — knowing not only with your mind but also with your heart, deep inside at last. Somehow overnight something suddenly, finally, became so obviously clear to you that you just cannot go backContinue reading ““Fistfight””

In the end, this year I’ll be spending my birthday (my first birthday in Colorado) in quarantine, isolating at home sick with COVID.  Of course, I feel a lot of disappointment and even anger — the anger was particularly intense on Thursday when I got my first strong symptoms and positive test result. But IContinue reading