Category Archives: Uncategorized

This weekend I’ll be incommunicado, off my cell phone.  Today marks four months since I did the burial for my European (gender)queer ex-lover. This weekend also is one year from the weekend that marked the start of our “love affair”.  So there’s a bittersweet taste to this day, to this weekend for me, and aContinue reading “Bittersweet — yet mostly sweet — anniversary”

[Trigger warnings: physical injury; loss] I’m in pieces. Apparently, the silly injury I got on my left thumb two & a half weeks ago is a torn UCL requiring surgery. This would entail six weeks of no “weight-bearing activities” with my left thumb/hand after surgery and effectively three months of no climbing (& no motorcycleContinue reading “Robbed of my golden years”

I keep finding, making my way into, spaces of non-toxic, safe, and nurturing masculinity.  I’ve been doing this my entire life but now I’m doing it in a more conscious way or, rather, with a different awareness because of the more explicit and liberated way I can express & present my gender identity.  This weekendContinue reading “Oases of safe & nurturing masculinity”

Today, a new love story has started, maybe the sweetest, and possibly also the trickiest, of my life.  Today, I have become a father: the father of the little boy within me.  I think that today I finally not only understood rationally but also truly came to touch and feel and integrate within me emotionallyContinue reading “I will father the little boy in me”

I’m still glowing from the joy and satisfaction of going skiing yesterday for the first time again in over eight years, and for the first time ever in America!  I went with one of my climbing buddies who also got back into skiing this winter after a decade’s break. And he had reassured me theContinue reading “Reclaiming another piece of myself: skiing”

[Trigger warning: death; loss; abandonment, rejection, neglect.] Yesterday my boy-chest turned 15 months. Something I was hoping to celebrate with the gay guy with whom I had my first date last week and was planning to see again last night. But I ended up having to attend to the wounded boy in me, instead ofContinue reading “The wounded boy”

There’s another extremely important thing I want to register & put on record today.  On Tuesday, I was a wreck. Partly, I was probably just feeling the exhaustion from the weekend’s efforts. But also, I had a conversation with my boss in which he confirmed that he cannot renew my contract past this July andContinue reading “The light side of loss: Liberation”

[Trigger warning: some explicit, though limited, sexual content.] This almost feels like a whole new “coming out” for me.  I know I’ve already felt, and written about, my attraction for masculinity, one of my main identities as being a “gay boy”, while also using other terms to describe myself, my identities, my sexual orientation, includingContinue reading “I’m a gay guy — Heck Yeah!”

We did it!!!  A couple months ago, I started looking for a spring half-marathon trail race for me to do and the only one I could find that was within reasonable distance for me (and not racing on paved roads) was the one in Fruita, CO. It looked perfect: a timely date for me, aContinue reading “Run with Pride: Non-binary & Unstoppable!”

“Fight for the things you care about. But do it in a way that will lead others to join you.” [Ruth Bader Ginsburg] This is one of my favorite quotes. And I guess I’ll get to practice it this weekend, for the first time in a long while, at least at such a (potentially) largeContinue reading “Activism in athletics: round #1”