The lovely second celebration of my “double anniversary”

Yesterday was my “double anniversary”: three years since my arrival in Colorado, driving through snow storms, on Jan. 26th, 2022; and two years since my gender-affirming top-surgery on Jan. 26th, 2023. 

Last year, I celebrated these important milestones partying all weekend, going out dancing two nights in a row with many of my close friends here in Colorado. 

This year, I celebrated in a very different but equally significant and touching way. 

One part of the celebration was a serendipitous coincidence: I was invited to be a panelist at a conference in California for gender minorities in Physics, which I attended on Friday evening and Saturday, flying back from Californian to Colorado on Sunday the 26th. Although the conference organizers who invited me had no idea of the important date coincidence for me, I found it a beautiful way to commemorate and honor one of the greatest milestones of my gender journey by being present, being visible, being a face and a voice and possibly an inspiration for younger folks in Physics who struggle in that environment (as well as in the outer world) because of their gender-nonconformity.  By being there with them, for them, and answering their questions and sharing my story, I could be of help to them while also uniting the personal and professional sides of my life & my self in a beautifully meaningful way. 

The other part of my celebration came last night at chorus rehearsal, where I was encouraged to do a share about my “double anniversary”. So, with a shaky voice and trembling hands but full of eagerness, I stood up in front of our 130 chorus members and told them about my “double anniversary”: what it is, what it means to me, how I see those two milestones also as two steps towards eventually joining the chorus, and how being part of this chorus is allowing me to blossom in ways that to me are new and wonderful and very affirming. 

Again, like during my chorus share in December, I felt so held, so heard, so seen while telling them yet another piece of my story. I could see the empathy and love on their faces. And then, as my share came to and end, my Big Sibling stood up clapping for me and the others followed suit, many of them tearing up. And oh, the love I got from them, so much love! Folks whispering words of thanks and affection and encouragement as I went back to my seat; and then later, during the break and when we went for drinks afterwards, so many hugs and people coming up to thank me for sharing, thanking me for my courage, thanking me for making them part or my journey, telling me how honored they felt and how happy they were for me. 

It was truly lovely and I tried to just let it all fill my heart to the brim as I thought, “It’s the other way around — I am honored and thankful for being able to share this with you all”!

(And just think how a few months ago I was trying to hide the fact that I was trans, afraid that they wouldn’t fully accept me because of it…!) 

The outer world may be a shitty place for some of us right now. But within my communities, with my friends, with my chosen families I am blessed: seen, heard, held, loved just as I am.