Changing the world, one action at a time

My email to the gym manager:

[Subject: We need more concrete actions for inclusivity]

”

Attention: Climbing Gym Management

Hi! 

Among other things, I am an AFAB non-binary trans-masculine climber, yogi, and athlete and I have been a member of these gyms for nearly four years (since summer 2019). 

I am writing to you now about some frustrating and painful incidents that have occurred to me at this gym over several months, and most recently ten days ago. These incidents have been frustrating and painful specifically because of my non-cis gender identity and as such point to a lack of inclusivity at your gym. I have waited this long to reach out as I wanted to do so with a calm mind rather than in the heat of emotions and I will start from the most recent events. 

On Sunday, June 11th, after going to the Pride event in town, I went to the gym to climb with a buddy and at the end of my workout I needed to use the bathroom. So I went to the all-gender stall but it was in use. So I waited. And waited. And waited. For about a quarter of an hour. Then I could wait no longer — also for physiological reasons. Since there is only one all-gender stall at this gym, I was forced to pick one of the two gendered, binary bathrooms/changing-rooms. So I picked the men’s since that one is, at this point, a little less mis-gendering/uncomfortable for me. However, when I used one of the bathroom stalls, to my dismay and practical discomfort, I found that there were no sanitary pads in there. Finally, when I went to the front desk to explain these problems, I got a haughty, saucy attitude from the person at the front desk who said to me, in a superior tone as if I were a child having a silly tantrum, “We’re doing all we can”. 

Well, NO, you’re not doing all you can. 

In fact, there have been other upsetting incidents in the past months that have occurred to me at this specific gym, including: not having secure lockers also OUTSIDE the men’s & women’s changing rooms for me to store my belongings safely while working out and having asked the staff employees there many times to get such lockers in place (as can be found at other gyms); an instructor addressed all the members of a fitness class that I attended as “Ladies”; several gym staff/employees not wearing pronouns on their badges.

Here’s the list of things that need to be changed and/or improved ASAP in order to have/provide REAL inclusivity for ALL at your gym(s): 

– more than one all-gender/accessible bathroom/changing-room stall; 

– sanitary pads in ALL bathrooms & changing-rooms, including the men’s, because there are people who identify as male and still menstruate!!! 

– place secure lockers for all gym members also OUTSIDE the men’s & women’s changing rooms so that truly ALL members can store their belongings safely while working out;

– have pronouns on all staff badges as standard, not optional; 

– instruct your staff to be more empathetic with ALL gym members, including those of different gender identities, and instruct them also to stop using gendered language such as “Ladies”, “Gentlemen”, “M’am”, “Sir”, etc. in their classes and/or when addressing people in general.

All the flags and words and drawings around the gym are nice, and help to feel more comfortable, but they also feel like empty words when in practice non-cis and/or queer people effectively encounter facts, attitudes, words, and spaces that are not really inclusive in their daily lives.

Thanks for your consideration,

“

The gym manager’s email reply to me:

”

Hi …, 

Thank you for reaching out. I know it can take courage for people to speak up on this topic, especially considering all the legislation, misinformation, and hate currently targeting trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming individuals.  

I’m very sorry to hear you’ve had experiences here that have been frustrating and painful for you. I’d love to set up a time to meet and discuss your experience and ideas. My initial impression from your email is that we share the same beliefs and goals and can work together on solutions. This is a discussion that is important to me and I am eager and enthusiastic to have.

Would you be open to meeting? And, if so, what does your availability look like next week? 

Again, thank you for connecting with us on this and I look forward to connecting with you more.

“