Category Archives: Uncategorized

Walking in downtown with one of my closest non-binary/trans-masculine friends last night we had one of our best queer-affirming moments. Not just gender-affirming, but more generally queer-affirming as in challenging the status quo of several normativities — gender, sexual orientation, type of relationship.  This person is, like me, AFAB non-binary more masculine-presenting (for now). TheyContinue reading “Try and find the box, if you can!”

When I first started attending some online gender support groups for non-cis persons I was sometimes irritated by some trans-men and trans-women who claimed that being non-binary is often just a temporary phase towards “transitioning” fully to the other gender. This bothered me both from the point of view of principle because it seemed toContinue reading ““Boy” vs. “Man””

In four or five months I might actually have the upper-body that I have always wanted — more than that, the upper-body that I have always seen for myself and identified with.  This morning, I met the surgeon who will most likely do the masculinizing mastectomy for me in the new year.  I’m still tryingContinue reading “Beauty and fear”

[Trigger alert: explicit description of some symptoms of the menstrual period.] We need a category for non-binary athletes to race in, if they wish to (of course, without forcing anyone to be outed). We need it now — we’ve been waiting too long already.  Three days ago, the bleeding from my uterus was so abundantContinue reading “Non-binary athletes”

Yesterday I saw two friends, spending the whole afternoon and evening in my favorite town here in Colorado.  Yesterday I found myself again — my innate energy, my liveliness, the reasons I decided to move here, the connections to people and places here.  Part of it was certainly hormonal, the “battle of the giants” finallyContinue reading “Good reminders”

I was just texting one of my best friends here in Colorado about how lonely I’m feeling this weekend and they asked if it’s “people withdrawal”.  Yes, I guess it is, at least partly — and such a great way of expressing it!  Moving isn’t easy. It’s actually freaking hard. And what is hitting me nowContinue reading “People withdrawal”

There are some moments with friends, or words, that are like jewels or lightning bolts or double rainbows: they seem to reach me and touch me in a way that is more direct, more unfiltered, more powerful and profound than others, clear as crystals and warm like an embracing hug.  I’ve felt several of theseContinue reading “Double rainbows”

Whether people can hear the difference, yet, or not — and although people still misgender me — my voice is now officially in the typical “male range”…!  The speech therapist recorded my voice and did the pitch analysis this morning: my average pitch is 167 Hz, which is in the “typical male range”…!!! This feelsContinue reading “167 Hz”

Yesterday, I got back from nearly two weeks in California where I finalized my move out to Colorado.  It was an intense trip with several extremely emotional moments and it’s still hard for me, at such a short distance from all those events, to parse out the different interactions, emotions, thoughts, feelings.  A great partContinue reading ““Has your voice cracked yet?””

Feelings from this morning: R.E.M. song “The Ascent of Man” (from the album “Around the Sun”) ringing in my head and the verses “I looked for you, it’s my last grand stand” particularly resonating with me; Identifying so strongly and happily as a boy, and feeling so wholly myself as a boy – one ofContinue reading ““The Ascent of Man””