Category Archives: Uncategorized

[Trigger warning: grief, loss, death of parent.] Sometime between tonight and tomorrow (I’m not exactly sure because of the 8-hour time difference) it’s going to be the one-year anniversary of my father’s death.  I don’t really know how I feel about it.  It seems so distant, almost unreal, belonging to another life. All of lastContinue reading “Different shades of grief — or lack thereof”

[Spoiler alert: details about the stories & characters in TJ Klune’s books “The Extraordinaries” & “Flash Fire”] I’m devouring the book “Flash Fire”, TJ Klune’s sequel to “The Extraordinaries”.  Once again, like with the first book, I cannot put it down because of living vicariously through the story, identifying very strongly — maybe too closelyContinue reading ““Tell me lies, Tell me sweet little lies””

I feel like I’m a mix between a teenage boy trying to figure out his queer-related conundrums and an adult going through an existential mid-life crisis. A combination that I wouldn’t recommend to anyone!  As I’ve mentioned before, I feel like I’m going through puberty all over, a queer teenage boy trying to figure thingsContinue reading “Queer teenage boy trying to figure things out”

My favorite book as a teenager was “Extraterrestre alla pari” by Bianca Pitzorno.  I don’t even know how it turned up in our house… Maybe my parents found it or traded it in at some local library thinking it was a science-fiction book, from the title, and that I would thus enjoy it because ofContinue reading ““Extraterrestre alla pari””

[Trigger warning: some explicit references to body parts (incl. genitals) and body shapes.] I wish I had been “born a boy”.  Today this desire is almost excruciating, full of pain and of anger even (of course, I always feel angry when I’m hurt). Because I actually was born a boy but nobody saw it. BecauseContinue reading “I wish I had been “born a boy””

[Trigger warning for the first paragraph: grief, loss, death of parent.] One year ago it was probably the worst 4th of July of my life: I was devastated by grief as I had just received the news that my father had been hospitalized for the final time and been given less than two weeks toContinue reading “Creating space”

[Trigger warning: grief, loss, death of parent.] [Spoiler alert: some details about the book “The Extraordinaries” by TJ Klune.] Last night I finished reading the young adult fiction book “The Extraordinaries” by TJ Klune.  I devoured it.  I’ve been feeling a little uncomfortable and even judgmental with myself for the way I’ve been not justContinue reading ““The Extraordinaries””

This trip to Salt Lake City has been extremely healing.  I feel like I’ve found new pieces of myself — or maybe pieces of me that were already there have fallen into place more clearly, more coherently, with more confidence and peace.  I’m feeling more at peace, more centered.  Today I went back to theContinue reading “Bro-time, SLC Pride, & Gay Bar Round #3”

I discovered Cindy Lauper’s song “Girls just want to have fun” in my first year of college. I can still remember the sense of fun, liberating joy and almost ecstasy I felt then, listening to it & singing & dancing along to the song with one of my then-closest friends (who was a fellow PhysicsContinue reading ““Girls just want to have fun” & trans joy”

Last night, I went to another gay bar here in Salt Lake City with the (cis-hetero-normative) friends who are hosting me.  It was quite a different experience from last weekend.  Firstly, while I was still feeling extremely nervous, I did feel less uncomfortable and almost a little more confident or even comfortable in my ownContinue reading “Gay Bar: Round #2”