Author Archives: adventurerliberated

I’ve always liked activities that entail speed and/or danger or risk.  Only recently, though, have I realized how much the fact of being able, or not, to do risky things is a very accurate thermometer of my mental state, even of my mental health.  In June I was still too tired and mentally fatigued toContinue reading “Mental health thermometer”

“You can close your eyes  to what you do not want to see But you cannot close your heart  to what you do not want to feel”

Is it going to be sufficient for me to focus fiercely on my new job and stay in the realm of the “safe spaces” of platonic/buddy-like relationships, or is it time for another round of psychotherapy? Any maybe aimed specifically at my inability around romantic/intimate relationships? And in particular with someone who has specific knowledgeContinue reading ““Gutta cavat lapidem””

A dear friend of mine recently commented, when I was telling her about some of my recent crushes, “You have a type”; and then, a short while later, “It’s another one of these available-unavailable guys”… And to a great extent she was right. Saying that I “have a type” I fall for is quite accurateContinue reading “Misplaced, or misleading, longing”

I have the date for my masculinizing top-surgery: January 26th, 2023! I was hoping it could be sooner, a month or two earlier, but on the other hand I quite like the symbolism of this particular date: in fact, I arrived in Colorado last January 26th, 2022. So somehow next January 26th feels like aContinue reading “I have a date…!”

In the past six months here in Colorado, I have instinctively gravitated towards two communities: rock climbers, on one hand, and non-binary/trans persons, on the other. Moreover, I have in particular been connecting with cisgender male climbers, who are often in a steady, monogamous romantic relationship, on one hand, and AFAB non-binary/trans-masculine persons who areContinue reading “Safe spaces”

Walking in downtown with one of my closest non-binary/trans-masculine friends last night we had one of our best queer-affirming moments. Not just gender-affirming, but more generally queer-affirming as in challenging the status quo of several normativities — gender, sexual orientation, type of relationship.  This person is, like me, AFAB non-binary more masculine-presenting (for now). TheyContinue reading “Try and find the box, if you can!”

When I first started attending some online gender support groups for non-cis persons I was sometimes irritated by some trans-men and trans-women who claimed that being non-binary is often just a temporary phase towards “transitioning” fully to the other gender. This bothered me both from the point of view of principle because it seemed toContinue reading ““Boy” vs. “Man””

In four or five months I might actually have the upper-body that I have always wanted — more than that, the upper-body that I have always seen for myself and identified with.  This morning, I met the surgeon who will most likely do the masculinizing mastectomy for me in the new year.  I’m still tryingContinue reading “Beauty and fear”