“Are you dead?” — On Loneliness

• Article from NPR (National Public Radio) from Feb. 3rd, 2026: “Here’s why people are saying they’re using ‘Are you Dead’ and apps like it”

• From “A Conversation with Gail Honeyman” on her book “Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine”:

Interviewer: “Where did the idea for Eleanor Oliphant come from?”

Author (Gail Honeyman): “Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine started with two related ideas. The first was loneliness, an issue that’s now thankfully starting to receive more attention as we begin to understand more about its often devastating consequences. I remembered reading an article in which a young woman, living in a big city, said that unless she went out of her way to make arrangements in advance, she’d often find herself not speaking to another human being from the time she left work on Friday night until her return to the office on Monday morning, and not by choice. I started to wonder how such a situation could come about. When loneliness is discussed, it’s often in the context of the elderly, but I began to think about how it might manifest in younger people, and whether the issues might be slightly different for them. Was it harder to talk about, or even to identify, because their loneliness didn’t result from, say, the death of a spouse after decades of marriage, or from becoming housebound due to age-related illness? Did social media have an impact and, if so, was it positive or negative? Was it worse or better to find yourself lonely in a big city rather than in a small town or village? In the end, it wasn’t difficult to imagine how a young woman with no family nearby could find herself in the situation described in the article, moving to a new city, she might rent a one-bedroom apartment, take a job at a small firm where she had nothing in common with her colleagues…”

• In the intro to Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine:

“

Loneliness is hallmarked by an intense desire to bring the experience to a close; something which cannot be achieved by sheer willpower, or by simply getting out more, but only by developing intimate connections. This is far easier said than done, especially for people whose loneliness arises from a state of loss or exile or prejudice, who have reason to fear or mistrust as well as long for the society of others…

[…]

The lonelier a person gets, the less adept they become at navigating social currents. Loneliness grows around them, like mould or fur, a prophylactic that inhibits contact, no matter how badly contact is desired. Loneliness is accretive, extending and perpetuating itself. Once it becomes impacted, it is by no means easy to dislodge.

”

[Olivia Laing in “The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone”]