“The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step”

“The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step” [Lao Tzu]: even if that journey might be “just” a 13.5-mile race on trail (and not add up to thousands of miles). 

Almost a year ago, in October 2023, I skipped, i.e. avoided doing, a race (half-marathon on trail) because while it offered a non-binary category to register, it did not include any awards at all for non-binary participants. I found the inequality still so glaring, that I skipped the race after having had a long back-and-forth via email with one of the organizers (there was an earlier acquaintance with this local running organization because I had volunteered with them at a race the previous year, in Sept. 2022). 

Then, nearly three months ago, I did that half-marathon trail race in Fruita, CO without registering as a sign of protest, with the support of friends, because that race didn’t even have a non-binary category for me to sign up (let alone non-binary awards). 

After that race, in May, I met up in person with the guy (self-identifying as “white, straight, cis-male”) from the local running organization that offers a non-binary category to register but no awards for non-binary participants in their races and we had a lengthy, and very nice, conversation about inclusion in competitions & running events and how his organization could implement it better. He promised me that he would talk to the co-founder also warning me, though, that he couldn’t promise me any changes for the rest of this race season. 

Now, eager to do the half-marathon trail race that this local organization puts on for the end of August, I checked the event’s webpage hoping to sign up; but once again, their race offered a non-binary category to register and yet still no awards at all for non-binary participants. So I reached out again to the organizer with whom I had talked, pointing out this issue of inequality again, and he admitted that, although he had talked to his colleague/co-founder a lot, he hadn’t been able to convince him. He told me honestly that while he could sympathize with me on an emotional level, he was struggling to find the right “rational” words necessary to convince his colleague/co-founder, and he asked me to help. So we brainstormed for over half an hour on the phone, and then I finally said, almost exasperated: “It’s not just gender, it’s gender identity, we call it gender identity, and it really is a core part of our core identity, not just a ‘physical attribute’!” 

And apparently I happened to find the words that worked: he said, “OK, I think that will convince Nick”. 

And YES, it did convince his colleague/co-founder: the website for this race has been updated to announce not only a non-binary category to register but also awards for the first three non-binary participants who place overall, just like the female &male categories. 

I did it. 

Hell, yeah — I did it! 

I did it because I persevered, I insisted, and I also made myself vulnerable enough to talk about delicate gender issues and answer lots of tricky questions with someone who’s neither queer nor a close friend. 

And once again, I didn’t do it alone: I found an(other) ally to help me advance this cause. 

It might not be much in the grand scheme of things, but we need to start somewhere and I’ll be damned if I don’t do my share in making the necessary changes happen!