“Girls just want to have fun” & trans joy

I discovered Cindy Lauper’s song “Girls just want to have fun” in my first year of college. I can still remember the sense of fun, liberating joy and almost ecstasy I felt then, listening to it & singing & dancing along to the song with one of my then-closest friends (who was a fellow Physics major and a sporty cis-girl). 

I still feel that sense of liberating joy every time I hear that song even to this day. 

The DJ played it last night. And on top of the usual liberating joy, last night I also felt a special trans joy hearing the song and dancing to it. 

I felt so trans and happy & proud of my “transness”.

There’s still a part of me that aligns to that song very closely, I resonate with the feeling of “girls wanna have fun” because there is part of me that is a “girl” and there probably always will be, especially when I dance. I don’t know what that means for me exactly, how that part of being a girl also fits in with being a gay boy — maybe it’s a “twink side” of me or my being non-binary trans. 

But it’s there and last night, with that song, it felt alive and joyful and proud again.