… And the key fear or worry underlying my almost constant sense of not being enough is due to the sense — or worry or fear — of being admired rather than loved.
With my close platonic friends I know I am loved: I know they love me despite all my many shortcomings and defects and even characteristics that make me straight-out impossible to deal with sometimes.
But with this relatively new romantic friend there isn’t love, yet, it’s simply too soon. She likes me, I know that and believe that, but I feel it’s a liking coming mainly from admiration — for my being physically good-looking, smart, brave, or whatever else.
It’s okay, and even nice, to be admired in certain, appropriate situations and in not-so-close relationships. But when I feel admired rather than loved by someone with whom there’s closeness & intimacy (of any type), then I get triggered and feel at risk of not being enough at some point — like now that I’m going through a rough spot…
What happens when the admiration eventually diminishes or vanishes altogether?
The Little Prince and the Fox 