Today’s one year & two months after my gender-affirming top-surgery and exactly a week from the anniversary of my first, long-awaited & liberating, fully bare-chested climb outdoors after surgery.
Today’s also the day my mentee defended his M.S. thesis after having worked under my (& my advisor’s) supervision for almost two years.
Of course, I went to his defense and wore a professional outfit. But I gender-queered it.
I’m wearing petrol-blue leggins (with woolen tights underneath because of the below-freezing temperature) and a black mini-skirt; black “Dr. Marten’s”-like boots with different colored laces (petrol-blue & beige); a boy’s petrol-blue tank-top and a man’s black corduroy shirt; with the final touch of a petrol-blue pashmina scarf, my colored (rainbow, non-binary, and trans) arm-bands, and my short, masculine haircut.
There are many days when I don’t have the right mood or the confidence or the courage to dress like this — or days when it simply doesn’t reflect how I feel, who I am. There are days when a full-on standard, sombre “man’s outfit” feels more aligned with my identity, or safer. But there are days when leggins feel good to me, good on me. Days when I can make peace with my legs and wear leggins.
A skirt over the leggins used to be quite a usual outfit for me, but I haven’t worn something like this in over two years. It feels good to have the confidence and playfulness to wear an outfit like this now. Feeling more rooted and confident in my masculinity, I can play with it and also express some of my femininity alongside.
I love how the tank-top & shirt fall on, and draw out, my flat chest, my strong shoulders. And I also like how my legs feel and look in the leggins & short skirt. And I love the combination: Boy? Girl? Both? In between? Beyond?
Why have to pick one or the other?
Don’t you dare put me in a box!
I’m non-binary genderqueer: Hell Yeah!
The Little Prince and the Fox 