MSM

I discovered the term, or acronym, “MSM” in the book “Erotically Queer” edited by Silva Neves & Dominic Davies. 

“MSM” stands for “Men who have Sex with Men”. 

It was coined with the intention of making it as comprehensive and inclusive — and as such, hopefully, less stigmatizing — as possible. It is meant to include all “men” who have sex (in whatever form or definition) with other “men” — straight men, gay men, bisexual and pansexual men, including cis-men, trans-men, and non-binary persons who have/feel/express a strong masculine part.

I like it. 

I like that it is so general and all-encompassing, as it feels inclusive towards myself, too. 

And I like its “matter of fact” wording: as such it becomes a neutral, judgment-free expression of acts or facts or preferences or events. 

It doesn’t matter whether one is — or identifies as — straight or gay or bi, cis or trans or non-binary. If someone feels and expresses some level of masculinity and has sex (in whatever form) with someone else who feels/expresses some level of masculinity, they have a term, a phrase they can use to describe it. 

It gives me, too, a phrase to describe it, to describe one of my identities, an important and strong aspect of myself, and maybe one of the parts of me/my life that has been present & consistent for the longest time, a part of me that has been there with continuity. Which in a “life made of moments” is significant.