Traces

I had to come all the way to the U.S.A., to the Western States, to California and then even more specifically to Colorado, in order to find myself.

Like Hesse’s Siddhartha: he had to go through all those experiences, all those “lives”, all those roles or “versions of himself”, to eventually, finally find himself (& also find peace within Unity). 

I’m just like Hesse’s Siddhartha. 

Just as Rainer Maria Rilke wrote: 

“

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. 

Just keep going.

No feeling lasts forever.

“

That’s so true. 

But while feelings don’t last forever, their traces can, the memories of the experiences that caused or led to those feelings. And it’s those traces that remain with us that make us who we are.

Those traces come up — are coming up very often recently — in my dreams. But they’re “only” traces: while being fundamental/instrumental to having formed me up to now, and to keep shaping me in my growth, they’re not my present, they’re not present me. 

I am the result of what I decide to do of/with those traces.  

I decide. 

I choose.