“Today I have grown taller”

“ 

Today I have grown taller from walking with the trees. 

“

[Karle Wilson Baker]

This weekend, Arys grew taller from standing his ground. 

They had felt extremely nervous and anxious and self-conscious about using the men’s changing room at the climbing gym where they used to go regularly when they were living in California and where they returned this past Saturday for a visit. Particularly nervous also because this place doesn’t feel “homely” to them anymore the way it used to or the way the ones in Colorado now do, and also partly because there was some fear of running into old acquaintances with whom it might feel mutually uncomfortable to meet in the men’s room.  

And, in fact, the unpleasant incident that happened before Arys’s workout around them using the men’s changing room was with “someone they used to know” there… 

But despite that uncomfortable situation, despite their nervousness and anxiety, Arys stood his ground and stayed: Arys used that space where they felt weird and self-conscious because deep inside him Arys knew (also thanks to friends’ encouraging words) that he belonged, Arys knew that he had all the right to be there. Arys stayed then, despite the unpleasant incident before their workout, and they went back in there and used the men’s changing room more extensively, at their leisure, without hiding their scars, again after their workout. 

Arys stood his ground, growing even physically, holding his head up straighter and his shoulders broader the second time around in the men’s changing room at the gym. And they’re doing the same, more and more, when they use the men’s bathrooms in public spaces, or even just walking down the street. Meeting people’s gaze, not in a challenging way, but with confidence and kindness, with a warm and steady strength. Embodying this true self that is coming out, coming into itself, into himself. 

Embodying the Peacock of the tarot cards’ description: flamboyantly handsome from a beauty that comes from within; confident and kind, and strong.