I used to have a particularly pretty mole on my right breast, visible also in the portraits I got taken of me before my top-surgery.
Until the other day I hadn’t paid attention to this detail. I noticed it again after seeing my pre-surgery nude portraits and my “new” chest as the scars (especially around the replaced nipples) finally start healing more clearly.
That mole is still there. Of course, its position has changed, its relative position has shifted: instead of being under some breast tissue, an inch or so below my right nipple, it is now right at the edge of my masculinized (i.e. smaller & repositioned) right nipple. Different position but same mole.
It feels so beautiful to still have, to still see that mole — and actually see it even more clearly and visibly than before. It somehow feels very sweet to me.
I’m also realizing that having had a friend who is a non-medical person actually see my “new” chest in person and not only give me the validation of it looking like a teenage-boy swimmer’s chest but also say that the scars and bruises don’t look bad at all, that he hardly even noticed them, that those were not the things he noticed when looking at my “new” chest — all this has helped me see my “new” chest in a different way. I’m seeing it as more healed and less battered than I was perceiving it before. Of course, having the doctor say it’s healing well is extremely important and reassuring for me; but having a friend see it in person and say that it looks good, healthy, “normal” somehow feels even more affirming and “good” at a different level, maybe at a deeper, more personal level.
I really, really LOVE my “new” chest and the boy that transpires through it.
I love my “new” chest and that mole that shifted position but remained with me.
The Little Prince and the Fox 